Tag Archives: women

Top 5 Things That Secretly Annoy Me…Until Now

1- Complaints about the amount of advertising in fashion magazines. Um hello, that’s the best part!! It’s the quickest/easiest way to pinpoint new aesthetics for the season and, quite honestly, is just really pretty!

2- When people proudly espouse opinions that are held by the general public. Yes, if you go in Wal-Mart you will most likely encounter interesting sides of humanity…and the root ingredients used by Taco Bell are probably found in tire rubber and petrol. Tell me something I don’t know. 

3- Recipes. Just another form of being told what to do.

4- Group texts. As most of you probably know, I’m not a phone person…and every time that dadblamed notification goes off it stresses me out. Plus, there’s always that one person who doesn’t know when to let it go.

5- Men who always let their wives dress them, no questions asked. First of all, get some opinions and a backbone. Secondly, leave the mothering to your mother.

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Top 5 Indicators That We Might Get Along

1- You use your jacket to cover your bag when it rains…and stare in horror at people who use theirs for overhead coverage.

2- You know the difference between Jonathan Jackson and Joshua Jackson.

3- You understand the gist of public transportation and can read a subway map.

4- You like Dolly Parton.

5- You think PDA is the most abominable thing before 11:00 pm…and the most admissible afterwards.

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Top 5 Rules of Nature

1- No matter how powerful/successful you are, you are nothing compared to the entity that brings about hurricanes, tornados, tsunamis, etc…so don’t get too big for your britches.

2- Darwinism is alive and real…so going swimming after that fifth beer is not the greatest idea.

3- If you don’t know what it is, don’t touch it.

4- When drawing attention to yourself for mating purposes, make sure you’re not also attracting dangerous predators.

5- Be capable of fighting and/or flighting…otherwise your lifespan doesn’t look that promising.

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Top 5 Things I Learned From My Granny

1- Only buy/wear white if you have full intentions of caring for it properly.

2- If a gift is received, a thank you card is written [in a timely fashion]. No exceptions.

3- Never wear “yard clothes” to town. Being presentable is a sign of respect.

4- You can get almost any stain out with determination and brute strength. Don’t give up!

5- Petite women (i.e. all women in my family) should not wear “long, draggy” dresses or baggy clothes. Flaunt what you’ve got!

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