Tag Archives: wedding

Top 5 Things The South Has Taught Me

1- The terms “honey, darling, sugar, and sweetie” do not necessarily convey positive sentiments. When delivered just right, they can be the most hateful words you’ve ever heard.

2- Shoes are wildly overrated. Only necessary when going to town or to church.

3- If she can’t make good sweet tea, she ain’t fit to wed. 

4- If it grows in the garden, it’s good enough to fry.

5- Relatives are great for borrowing pick-ups, helping you move, and giving you ridiculous nicknames. Just ask Teeny, Doodle, Shug, or Bugs [all members of my sweet family].

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Top 5 Photos You Should Be Embarrassed About

1- Almost any selfie. While they are oh-so-tempting to take, your reputation is begging you to refrain. You get a free pass for approx three a year. Use them wisely.

2- That one of you peeing outside after a night of college debauchery. Oh it doesn’t exist? I call BS.

3- Any maternity photo with a half-buttoned shirt, awkwardly large bow around the midsection (?) and strategically placed gendered baby shoes. I just don’t get it.

4- Any photo of you simultaneously in a wedding gown and holding a beer. I mean it’s supposed to be one of the most sacred days of your life…at least pour it in a glass for Christ’s sake (literally…ha).

5- Anything, and I mean anything, taken on your 21st birthday. Evidence of this day should be either 1) burned or 2) locked away in Harry Potter’s Chamber of Secrets.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,