Tag Archives: weather

Top 5 Indicators That We Might Get Along

1- You use your jacket to cover your bag when it rains…and stare in horror at people who use theirs for overhead coverage.

2- You know the difference between Jonathan Jackson and Joshua Jackson.

3- You understand the gist of public transportation and can read a subway map.

4- You like Dolly Parton.

5- You think PDA is the most abominable thing before 11:00 pm…and the most admissible afterwards.

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Top 5 Things You Don’t Want To See On A Saturday Afternoon

1) Stacked heels. While I love my Louboutins more than anyone, this just comes off a little garish. Save it for the evening, girlfriend. 

2) A line at your favorite bagel place. Ughhhhh, don’t they know that you’ve been looking forward to this egg and cheese treat all week?!

3) An email from work. I’m sorry, I can’t hear you over my complete indifference. ***

4) Inclement weather. Dear powers-that-be, save that mess for lazy Sundays.

5) The inside of a car for more than 45 minutes. However, if forced, this situation can be slightly improved with an icy beverage and Dolly Parton tunes.

***but I promise to care on Monday.

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Top 5 Things I Think When It Rains

1- There is no way I should be expected to get out of bed in this weather. Followed by either 1) Thank God it’s the weekend and I don’t have to or 2) $!@&&%$#(@!#&+@(~#~&@!*!#*@!!!!

2- Well, ugly shoes it is…sorry outfit.

3- I can’t go to the gym in this weather! It’s water falling from the sky…what if I get hurt?!

4- Dammit, still need to replace those windshield wipers. Why does this only ever come to mind when it is actually raining and I can’t see anything?!

5- Good, we need that [said in my papa’s deep southern drawl]. You can take the girl outta the country…

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Top 5 Reasons May Is The Best Month Zeus Ever Created

1- April showers bring what you ask? MAY FLOWERS BIATCH!!! Everyone loves a good flower.

2- Memorial Weekend is the unofficial start of summer…and one of heaven’s greatest gifts: Summer Hours. For those of you who don’t live on the tiny universe of Manhattan, “Summer Hours” are NYC’s way of making up for crappy winter weather and the L train. We straight up get off of work early every.single.friday during this glorious season. Booyah.

3- It marks the birth of one of the nation’s greatest social commentators (me, obviously).

4- There are no puffer jackets in sight.

5- No matter what, you know that you have at least three solid months of good weather in your future (which means at least TWO months to get ready for bikini season…amirite?).

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Top 5 Reasons I Rather Like March

1- There is the slight chance you may not have to wear a scarf or gloves out. Winning!

2- All the hideous, black, and depressing puffer jackets in New York City disappear! Hooray for the rebirth of regular shaped people!

3- St. Patty’s Day. No, no no…not because of the excessive drinking and otherwise juvenile behavior this holiday brings to your front stoop. I just look really good in green.

4- Paris Fashion Week….’cause I’m fancy like that.

5- It’s not February.

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