Tag Archives: vanity

Top 5 Ways To Ruin A Photo

1- Wear a tube top. You’ll look naked as a jaybird…and surprisingly unconcerned about it.

2- Duck lips. There is a fine line between a flirty pout and Darkwing Duck.

3- Wrong filter. There is a a good time for “Kelvin” and it’s called never.

4- Bad crop. Everybody knows that arms should be the first thing to go…and a friend who ignores this is no friend at all.

5- Mirror shot.————————————— <insert massive roll of eyes>.

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Top 5 Things That Should Be An Inalienable Right

1- Wi-fi. This can be a matter of life or death…for instance, what if I miss #tbt and have to wait ANOTHER week to post that super cute childhood photo of myself? What will people do?!

2- Gym memberships. Seriously, ya’ll. The world would be a happier, healthier, and more beautiful place…and that’s the hard-bodied truth.

3- Taxis after 11:00 pm. It’s a matter of public safety (and achy-yet stylish-Louboutin-clad feet).

4- Metrocards that NEVER expire. If this law were enacted, it would make spring cleaning SO much more exciting.

5- Marriage to any whiney, temperamental, and otherwise rotten person you choose…everyone deserves the equal right to make one another miserable.

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Top 5 Things You Should Stop Doing

1- Placidly standing on the left side of the escalator. That is for the right side. The left side is for people with places to go!! If you get pushed down or punched one day, don’t say I didn’t warn you.

2- Commenting back (individually) to everyone that compliments your new profile pic. While you may think you’re only being polite, it looks a little self-involved and desperate. A simple “Thanks Guys!” should suffice.

3- Running at the gym. Go outside! It’s a tougher workout and you get that VD!

(Vitamin D…what were you thinking?!)

4- Showering with your bf’s soap/shampoo/conditioner all-in-one. It smells awful and is everything/nothing at the same time.

5- Misspelling third grade words. The world notices and hates you for it. 

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