Tag Archives: taxi

Top 5 Things I Love About Germany

(As I sit in Berlin)

1- Things happen on time. As a fiercely punctual person, this is music to my (always waiting) ears!

2- You roll up everywhere in a Benz….flyest taxis around, for sure.

3- Every male sounds like Hans and Franz…let the giggles ensue.***

4- You get to say “Guten Morgen!!” every.single.day—I don’t know about you, but I call that a win.

5- Everyone speaks English…because lawd knows I could never pronounce half of these words. Exactly how many letters can one add to a word before it becomes stream-of-consciousness mind ooze?

***Yes, I realize they were supposed to be Austrian…but the language is still German!

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Top 5 Things That Should Be An Inalienable Right

1- Wi-fi. This can be a matter of life or death…for instance, what if I miss #tbt and have to wait ANOTHER week to post that super cute childhood photo of myself? What will people do?!

2- Gym memberships. Seriously, ya’ll. The world would be a happier, healthier, and more beautiful place…and that’s the hard-bodied truth.

3- Taxis after 11:00 pm. It’s a matter of public safety (and achy-yet stylish-Louboutin-clad feet).

4- Metrocards that NEVER expire. If this law were enacted, it would make spring cleaning SO much more exciting.

5- Marriage to any whiney, temperamental, and otherwise rotten person you choose…everyone deserves the equal right to make one another miserable.

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Top 5 Things A Good New Yorker Will Never Do

1- Take too long in the bagel line. Not only will this get you cursed out before 8 am, it will also ruin your rep at the local coffee shop. Which, we all know, takes years to curate and seconds to dismantle.

2- Placidly take up multiple seats while hoards of people file into the subway car. Do this and you deserve to get jumped [quite possibly by me].

3- Walk in midtown with eyes gleefully aimed towards the sky. Yes, the buildings are big. Yes, it looks *just like* the movies. In other news, people actually have to get work…so speed it up, yo.

4- Fangirl/boy out at the sight of a celeb. Don’t get me wrong, we totally want to…but we have the dedication and wherewithal to save this nonsense for when we are alone/tweeting to all of our friends back home.

5- Act rude or haughty to a taxi driver. We all know they hold the real power.

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Top 5 Things NYC Has Taught Me

1- Forget diamonds and rosé, the true sign of luxury is a washer/dryer, dishwasher, and a/c unit.

2- As soon as a taxi stops, open the door and get in the car. Once you’re in, they have to take you to your location…but oftentimes they’ll attempt to drive off if they don’t want to go that direction.

3- The world is controlled by fast-walkers…so get moving.

4- Never take a taxi during rush hour. There is nothing more irritating than pedestrians passing your cab while the meter steadily ticks away.

5- The world is a very small place. For example, last week I met someone from the same small town in SC (population 175) in my local coffee shop. In a city of 9 million. Cuhrazy.

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Top 5 Ways New York Tells You It Loves You

1- The subway arrives *just* as you reach the platform. And a stranger gives you their seat.

2- It’s Halloween night and you are actually able to hail a taxi home without any difficulty.

3- You live on the 7th floor of your building…and have an elevator. This my friends, is what you might call a “Christmas Miracle.”

4- Your deli man draws hearts, smileys, and I ❤ u on the wrapping of your morning bagel (true story).

5- It’s 4am/10am and delivery is still a very attainable option…with no questions and not a bit of judgment.

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