Tag Archives: stars

Top 5 “Celebrities” I Wish I Could Wish Away

1- Anyone who is currently on, has plans to be, or has participated in any Bachelor/Bachelorette season. WHY ARE THESE PEOPLE TAKING UP MY US WEEKLY COVER SPACE?!

2- With the exception of Beyonce and Mrs. Beckham, any former girl band member. Nowadays, seeing these ladies is like watching Regina George’s mom in Mean Girls.

3- Chris. Freaking. Brown.—I just can’t. There are no words.

4- Amanda Seyfried. I get SO annoyed when I see she’s in a movie I want to see…and it keeps happening. She’s an alien you guys, I swear it.

5- Any “starlet” from Teen Mom 2. However, I must ashamedly admit I still hold love for the original cast (what up Maci?!).

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Top 5 Ways To Look Important

1- Carry a planner. Because, obviously, people with plans need a planner. So what if your “appointments” consist of trash pick-up schedules, your (twice-a-year) dental visits, and a wedding you have no intentions of actually attending? One day you might just have to pencil in that date with Ryan Gosling.

2- Wear shades like a boss. Seriously. If you don’t believe me, try it out in the mirror…something about occluding your eyes (**cough, under eye circles) makes you walk taller, speak stronger, and just…stride with confidence. Important people stride with confidence.

3- Keep your accessories sophisticated. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve worn a nice coat over a frumpy tee <bra optional>…paired with a stylish watch, sharp boots, new scarf, and…duh….shades. Even if you’re just running to the market, this look will carry you through the situation with class.

4- Resist the urge to immediately jump out of the way when someone is walking in your path. Important people don’t concede so easily, neither should you. Casually step to the side when you are fairly close to the intruding party, but never (ever!) apologize.

5- Don’t take private calls in public. Nothing kills a sophisticated look like a personal conversation. Uttering phrases like “he did WHAT?!” “Mom, for the last time, I don’t watch CSI…or NCIS…or whatever you’re talking about” or “I’m so upset that Channing Tatum is having a baby” make you less mysterious. Important people are mysterious.

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