Tag Archives: sleep

Top 5 Signs You’re With An Old Friend

1- You don’t feel weird about borrowing their deodorant and/or hairbrush…and it doesn’t even cross your mind to ask first.

2- You reminisce about the hot guys in college…and wonder if they ever eventually started wearing shirts.

3- You don’t feel judged for sleeping until noon…or going to bed before midnight on a Saturday night.

4- You still hate the same people.

5-You remind each other of the total doofuses you’ve dated in the past…and thank your lucky stars that the best is yet to come!

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Top 5 Side Effects Of Driving 15+ Hours

1- You are either doing the “I’m just gonna rest one eye” trick or you’re so jacked up on caffeine that you won’t sleep for weeks (when given the opportunity, choose the latter).

2- Your knuckles are crazy sore from clutching the wheel during multiple torrential downpours…rain, rain, for the love of god, PLEASE go away!

3- You are now a lyrical expert on the entire Top 40 list…because the same songs play over and over and over again. Thanks for that, RiRi.

4- If driving alone, you are mind-numbingly bored and lonely. If driving with others, you never want to see another human being for the rest of your life.

5- Your bathroom standards have lowered exponentially.

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Top 5 Things I Think When It Rains

1- There is no way I should be expected to get out of bed in this weather. Followed by either 1) Thank God it’s the weekend and I don’t have to or 2) $!@&&%$#(@!#&+@(~#~&@!*!#*@!!!!

2- Well, ugly shoes it is…sorry outfit.

3- I can’t go to the gym in this weather! It’s water falling from the sky…what if I get hurt?!

4- Dammit, still need to replace those windshield wipers. Why does this only ever come to mind when it is actually raining and I can’t see anything?!

5- Good, we need that [said in my papa’s deep southern drawl]. You can take the girl outta the country…

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Top 5 Habits I Need To Break

1- Taking my phone to bed with me. Forty-three pins later and I’m still awake.

2- Responding to messages at the gym. No, I did not mean to send you a “sticker.”

3- Forgetting to pack socks. I pretty much owe everyone I know at least one pair.

4- Giving anyone my phone number past 11:00 pm. It just results in awkward text avoidance. 

5- Snacking at night. Reality television is garbage enough, I’m sure.

 

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Top 5 Things That Feel Oddly Indulgent

1- Napping in the afternoon on a beautiful, made-up bed…with lots of fancy pillows. It just makes me feel like a fatigued starlet in the 1940s…anyone else?

2- Taking a black car service to the airport. I mean, it may just look like your grandpa’s old Grand Marquis, but something about it can make you feel so luxe!

3- Buying pricey milk and/or paper products. Look who’s not in college anymore!

4- Wearing your boyfriend’s sweater to clean the house. Extra points if it’s cashmere.

5- Saying yes to dessert. At a restaurant. Calories be damned!

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Top 5 Things Adults Don’t Do

1- Go to Panama City, Myrtle Beach, or Daytona Beach for Spring Break. Let the kids have this one, ya’ll.

2- Proudly display Hollister, American Eagle, Abercrombie & Fitch, or Aeropostale across their chests. If you’re over 18, you look like an ass.

3- Take the cheesiest slice, the corner piece of cake, or the last cookie when there is a child who hopes and dreams you may kill with these simple actions.

4- Make negative comments about their job on social media sites…or talk about it too much in general. The only people who care are the ones that might fire you.

5- Sacrifice the well-being of pets, children, employment, and/or family for more sleep. Consider rest your evolutionary survival tax!

(Welcome back from break, everyone! xoxo)

 

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Top 5 Reasons To Love Mondays

1- It means you survived the weekend.

2- Hearing about your odd coworker’s wild Saturday excursion to the (insert random object) collector’s exhibition always offers a smidge of mild entertainment.

3- You have the opportunity to set yourself apart and NOT be a total grump at the water cooler.

4- Parents get to send their kids back to school.

5- Once started, it will soon be over…and you won’t have to do it again for another week!

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Top 5 Reasons To Attend Grad School

1- You’re tired of the whole eight/nine hours of sleep each night. Three will suffice, right?

2- You’re sick of your family and would prefer to not see them for two to three years…

3- You want a free pass to act like a college student again, but with the added thrill of avoiding your undergrad students while you partake in these activities.

4- You love, love, love sifting through dozens of articles for one solid reference to go in your lit review. Rinse, Wash, Repeat.

5- You’ve always wanted an old war buddy to share stories with…but aren’t too keen on flying shrapnel and camouflage cargo pants.

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Top 5 Ways I Know I’m Not 22 Anymore

1- It’s Saturday night and I’m within 200 feet of a computer.

2- I refer to men I like/date by their actual name…ya know, instead of “quicksilver store guy,” “the scotsman,” or most embarrassingly, “ace with the tattoos.”

3- At this very moment, I have no inexplicable body injuries–no weird waffle shaped bruises, no twisted ankles…and no skinned knees, mom!

4- I spend more money on food than drinks. When did this start happening?!

5- I wake up before noon on weekends…EVEN WHEN I DON’T HAVE TO!!! Can’t say I ever saw this one coming, folks.

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