Tag Archives: service

Top 5 Things The South Has Taught Me

1- The terms “honey, darling, sugar, and sweetie” do not necessarily convey positive sentiments. When delivered just right, they can be the most hateful words you’ve ever heard.

2- Shoes are wildly overrated. Only necessary when going to town or to church.

3- If she can’t make good sweet tea, she ain’t fit to wed. 

4- If it grows in the garden, it’s good enough to fry.

5- Relatives are great for borrowing pick-ups, helping you move, and giving you ridiculous nicknames. Just ask Teeny, Doodle, Shug, or Bugs [all members of my sweet family].

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Top 5 Ways You Know You’ve Made It

1- You take taxis whenever the feeling strikes. Don’t feeling like walking in sub-zero temps to the closest L train? Hail a cab! Not in the mood to stare at a stranger’s crotch on a packed subway ride? You don’t have to! Oh how I dream of this day…

2- You no longer stress over the tip/service ratio. Did she REALLY deserve 25% for that mediocre service? After all, those extra two bucks could buy you a morning coffee next week…but what if someone is watching? Scheisse.

3- You never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever have to stay in a hostel again. Suc-cess!!

4- You shop in a posh food market. Notice how I didn’t say grocery store? Organic lollipops for all!

5- You own a Burberry trench.  **Note: This is my own personal yard stick of progress.

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