Tag Archives: rihanna

Top 5 Reasons I Might Jump You In An Elevator

1- You say something about Dolly. She is a goddess and I will not hear otherwise.

2- You spill a cocktail on my new Ferragamos. If you can’t handle your alcohol, keep it away from my couture.

3- You do something to hurt my little brother. In this scenario, you gonna need that bodyguard…and about 12 of his beefy friends.

4- You go off on some right wing rant that muddles religion, ethics, and politics into one indistinguishable puddle of idiocy. Or you like Glenn Beck. Same thing, really.

5- You go after my boo. Another reason I think Bey is a robot who just does what she’s told…RiRi would have had to regulate. ***

***See about page for more details.

 

 

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Top 5 Things I Just Can’t Give Up

1- My side of the bed….don’t even try, boo.

2- Funfetti icing…it just tastes so good!

3- Mani/Pedis…skipping lunch is so totally worth it.

4- Rihanna…I’m so upset about her life decisions—but love her so much!

5- My tween crush on Joshua Jackson…it will happen!!

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Top 5 Things From Which You Just Can’t Recover

1- Forgetting to wash the conditioner out of your hair. If you’re on a time crunch, put it in a bun and swear up and down you’re rocking the “Black Swan” look.

2- Talking smack about someone standing directly behind you. Check yourself before you wreck yourself!

3- Being a Chris Brown fan. If his physical assaultS¬†aren’t bad enough, his Halloween costumes/tattoos/tweets/etc prove he is a horrible human being who does not deserve your money and/or support.

4- Getting embarrassingly intoxicated at a work function. Two drink max, people!

5- Being labeled a “Homewrecker.” Ask Angelina Jolie, it’s been eight years and people still hate her…and she’s a Goodwill Ambassador!! Be nice and wait your turn.

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