Tag Archives: reading

Top 5 Random Confessions (Go Ahead And Judge)

1-  I don’t get the whole cereal addiction. There is absolutely no way HUMANLY POSSIBLE to get the cereal to milk ratio correct and frankly, it’s too loud in my ears.

2- Even though I typically order balsamic, I would rather be having ranch.

3- I was always confused by the whole “mirror, mirror on the wall” thing. Clearly the Queen is prettier than Snow White.

4- Quite often, I would rather be alone. I like to read, ponder, think, write, and wander…all things that are tricky to do in tandem.

5- I have an obsessive need to know how things are spelled. My brain processes thoughts in words, so if I don’t know how to spell something it’s like a jammed record player until the issue is resolved. Just ask my friends (especially the superfreak smart ones) how often I say “how do you spell that?”.

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Top 5 Signs You Should Chill The F Out

1- You choose cubed ice rather than crushed because it takes less time…even though you prefer crushed.

2- You have given up and replaced milk with coffee when having your morning cereal…because it just seems more efficient.

3- You put your emergency blinkers on and drive like a convict when traffic pisses you off…and have been known to pull this move en route to the grocery store.

4- You get violently angry when people attempt to read to you aloud. 

5- You feel the need to label where the forks, knives, and spoons go in the kitchen drawer…because, ya know, we couldn’t figure that one out ourselves.

 

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Top 5 Reasons To Avoid The Mall

1- Abercrombie and Fitch. The noise, the nauseating perfume, the crowd of tweens and/or toolbags…best if left to their own devices.

2- Parking is a pain in the ass. Without a doubt, someone will try to steal your spot, knock a door into your shiny new whip, or take forrreeevvverrr to get into their *&@*#&@ car.

3- Books-A-Million is a time vortex and will steal hours from your life…a fact you won’t realize until you’ve missed your dentist appointment, forgotten the kids at school, and forgone your dinner plans.

4- Chinese Food. That shiz is SO not organic…but you know you’ll order it. Who has the wherewithal to avoid those delicious little samples?! Not me, I say.

5- The lycra. It’s everywhere…on the bodies of fellow shoppers, for sale in the department stores, and cloaking the (generally uninterested) salespeople. Avoid, avoid, avoid.

 

 

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Top 5 Things I Hope You Know

1- That “alot” is not a word. Never has been. We had a lot of fun at the birthday bash…see what I did there? It’s called a space bar.

2- That you stand on the right side of the escalator (and allow people to walk past you on the left). Passports should be revoked for breaking this international rule of conduct.

3- That prescriptions are what you take to over-medicate yourself for ADD, OCD, or whatever the latest condition is to hit the market. Subscriptions are for magazines. 

4- That reading something does not make it true. Investigate so you don’t look like a dumbass. ***Particularly useful when relating to Facebook “Shares” (hint: check out snopes.com).

5- That food matters…so try everyday to make good choices! Don’t turn your temple into a trash dump.

 

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Top 5 Things That Are NOT Best in Moderation

1- Pomegranates. Pom season doesn’t last very long…so indulge, indulge, indulge. Just make sure you’re not wearing white/around anyone towards whom you have romantic inclinations…that sh&% is not pretty [but tastes so good!].

2- Travel. The more you go, the more you know! As the over-pinned quote states, “Travel is the only thing you buy that makes you richer.”

3- Reading. Not only is it an extremely rewarding and interesting activity, it also teaches you how to SPELL!

4- Laughter. Do whatever it takes to get this in EVERY DAY. For me, it’s ridiculous memes online…but for you it might be The Daily Show or Kardashian Kouture.

5- Walking. Did you know that Manhattan is only 13.4 miles long and 2.3 miles wide? That taxi to Sunday Brunch *might* not be necessary.

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