Tag Archives: public transportation

Top 5 Indicators That We Might Get Along

1- You use your jacket to cover your bag when it rains…and stare in horror at people who use theirs for overhead coverage.

2- You know the difference between Jonathan Jackson and Joshua Jackson.

3- You understand the gist of public transportation and can read a subway map.

4- You like Dolly Parton.

5- You think PDA is the most abominable thing before 11:00 pm…and the most admissible afterwards.

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Top 5 Things You Should Just Forget About

1- Getting a decent parking spot on any college campus. In related news, don’t even try to park illegally…fifty bucks says there is a parking services agent hiding in the bushes. 

2- Wearing your hair down in this heat. Don’t lie girl, you know that ‘do is gonna be in a topknot before you even make it to the subway.

3- Waking up early to work out on the weekend. I’ve told myself this was going to happen, oh, a few THOUSAND times in my life…and I’ve never done it once.

4- Acting funny, witty, smooth, or refined when needed. Sorry player, this is going to be the EXACT moment you knock over your glass and/or get a piece of basil stuck in your teeth.

5- Choosing the “right” line in security. It’s always a gamble…and I inevitably get stuck behind the newb who forgets to take out his laptop…way to hold up the entire.freaking.line. dude…

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Top 5 Things I Love About Germany

(As I sit in Berlin)

1- Things happen on time. As a fiercely punctual person, this is music to my (always waiting) ears!

2- You roll up everywhere in a Benz….flyest taxis around, for sure.

3- Every male sounds like Hans and Franz…let the giggles ensue.***

4- You get to say “Guten Morgen!!” every.single.day—I don’t know about you, but I call that a win.

5- Everyone speaks English…because lawd knows I could never pronounce half of these words. Exactly how many letters can one add to a word before it becomes stream-of-consciousness mind ooze?

***Yes, I realize they were supposed to be Austrian…but the language is still German!

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Top 5 Things That Should Be An Inalienable Right

1- Wi-fi. This can be a matter of life or death…for instance, what if I miss #tbt and have to wait ANOTHER week to post that super cute childhood photo of myself? What will people do?!

2- Gym memberships. Seriously, ya’ll. The world would be a happier, healthier, and more beautiful place…and that’s the hard-bodied truth.

3- Taxis after 11:00 pm. It’s a matter of public safety (and achy-yet stylish-Louboutin-clad feet).

4- Metrocards that NEVER expire. If this law were enacted, it would make spring cleaning SO much more exciting.

5- Marriage to any whiney, temperamental, and otherwise rotten person you choose…everyone deserves the equal right to make one another miserable.

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Top 5 Things A Good New Yorker Will Never Do

1- Take too long in the bagel line. Not only will this get you cursed out before 8 am, it will also ruin your rep at the local coffee shop. Which, we all know, takes years to curate and seconds to dismantle.

2- Placidly take up multiple seats while hoards of people file into the subway car. Do this and you deserve to get jumped [quite possibly by me].

3- Walk in midtown with eyes gleefully aimed towards the sky. Yes, the buildings are big. Yes, it looks *just like* the movies. In other news, people actually have to get work…so speed it up, yo.

4- Fangirl/boy out at the sight of a celeb. Don’t get me wrong, we totally want to…but we have the dedication and wherewithal to save this nonsense for when we are alone/tweeting to all of our friends back home.

5- Act rude or haughty to a taxi driver. We all know they hold the real power.

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Top 5 Things That Make Me Uncomfortable

1- Personal conversations on the subway. Call me crazy, but I don’t need 35 other people weighing in on my text convos from the night before.

2- People who do the same pose in every.single.photo. Clearly there’s more going on here.

3- Mega-Churches. The preachers are usually 40 yr old walking advertisements for Abercrombie & Fitch and the accompanying team mentality can be a little eerie. I can do without the horse and pony show.

4- The Fuzz. I don’t get it…I’m a speed limit obeying, law-abiding citizen…what’s up with the anxiety?! I can only assume this is residual fear from my college years.

5- White shoes. No me gusta.

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Top 5 Ways New York Tells You It Loves You

1- The subway arrives *just* as you reach the platform. And a stranger gives you their seat.

2- It’s Halloween night and you are actually able to hail a taxi home without any difficulty.

3- You live on the 7th floor of your building…and have an elevator. This my friends, is what you might call a “Christmas Miracle.”

4- Your deli man draws hearts, smileys, and I ❤ u on the wrapping of your morning bagel (true story).

5- It’s 4am/10am and delivery is still a very attainable option…with no questions and not a bit of judgment.

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Top 5 Reasons I’m Happy I’m Not 18 Again

1- No matter what happens, I will die knowing I didn’t screw up my education. Seriously, from birth this was my greatest fear!

2- I could not care less if anyone on the planet likes my outfit. I love different and interesting clothes…and am more than happy to let my freak flag fly!

3- I no longer have the “if it’s free I should eat it/drink it” mentality. Less is definitely more, people.

4- I have no fear of subways, bus schedules, european trains, and airports. At 18, navigating these hubs was nothing short of terrifying!

5- I can go into any bar, in any country, and order a glass of wine. My 18 year-old-self would be so jealous.

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Top 5 Things I Take For Granted…Until They’re Gone

1- Good health- Ya know, it’s like you don’t even notice it when it’s there…but when it’s gone, it’s all you freaking think about/want in life.

2- Wifi- Same sentiment as above.

3- Smart phones- Please, please never make me have to actually look up a number, then remember it long enough to save, again!

4- Public Transportation- Yea, so uh, what do you mean the trains aren’t working today? I mean…can you even do that? Oh yes, yes you can. F U Sandy.

5- Milk- It’s like I don’t even want the stuff until it’s sitting in my fridge…spoiled.

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Top 5 Reasons To Take Public Transportation

1- You don’t have to stand in the cold and pump your own gas. Or, God forbid, walk inside to pay because you found the one station in your county without a credit card machine.

2- You make friends who will sometimes share their snacks. While the most common offer comes as a preemptive strike in the form of minty freshness, every now and then you get leftover Halloween candy or…even better…birthday cupcakes!

3- You can use it as an excuse to not answer your phone. Boo-yah!!

4- You have the power to save money, help the environment, and SLEEP all the way to work! Full on superhero status before 8:00 am.

5- You really feel like part of the absurd merry-go-round we call life…which can be oddly refreshing after eight hours in a stuffy and well-mannered office. Confused by what I’m saying? Go to Penn Station around 5:00 and report back to us.

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