Tag Archives: photo

Top 5 Ways To Ruin A Photo

1- Wear a tube top. You’ll look naked as a jaybird…and surprisingly unconcerned about it.

2- Duck lips. There is a fine line between a flirty pout and Darkwing Duck.

3- Wrong filter. There is a a good time for “Kelvin” and it’s called never.

4- Bad crop. Everybody knows that arms should be the first thing to go…and a friend who ignores this is no friend at all.

5- Mirror shot.————————————— <insert massive roll of eyes>.

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Top 5 Things That Should Be An Inalienable Right

1- Wi-fi. This can be a matter of life or death…for instance, what if I miss #tbt and have to wait ANOTHER week to post that super cute childhood photo of myself? What will people do?!

2- Gym memberships. Seriously, ya’ll. The world would be a happier, healthier, and more beautiful place…and that’s the hard-bodied truth.

3- Taxis after 11:00 pm. It’s a matter of public safety (and achy-yet stylish-Louboutin-clad feet).

4- Metrocards that NEVER expire. If this law were enacted, it would make spring cleaning SO much more exciting.

5- Marriage to any whiney, temperamental, and otherwise rotten person you choose…everyone deserves the equal right to make one another miserable.

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Top 5 Photos You Should Be Embarrassed About

1- Almost any selfie. While they are oh-so-tempting to take, your reputation is begging you to refrain. You get a free pass for approx three a year. Use them wisely.

2- That one of you peeing outside after a night of college debauchery. Oh it doesn’t exist? I call BS.

3- Any maternity photo with a half-buttoned shirt, awkwardly large bow around the midsection (?) and strategically placed gendered baby shoes. I just don’t get it.

4- Any photo of you simultaneously in a wedding gown and holding a beer. I mean it’s supposed to be one of the most sacred days of your life…at least pour it in a glass for Christ’s sake (literally…ha).

5- Anything, and I mean anything, taken on your 21st birthday. Evidence of this day should be either 1) burned or 2) locked away in Harry Potter’s Chamber of Secrets.

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