Tag Archives: park

Top 5 Rules of PDA

1- If it’s not dark, put it in park. While stolen kisses on a midnight stroll can (sometimes) be unoffensive, the same scene in daylight makes most people want to vomit all over your romantic moment.

2- If you must, be tasteful and find an alley. After all, courtesy is what makes the world go ’round.

3- Sitting in laps should be kept under 5 minutes. Otherwise, it’s just juvenile and weird.

4- Hair touching should be kept to a minimum. Something about this seems so intimate/really freaking awkward to witness.

5- Absolutely no tongue. Ever. Everevereverevereverever.

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Top 5 Ways To Stay Happy

1- GSD- As in, Get Sh&* Done. End that procrastination-based masochistic relationship with yourself and be productive, you’ll feel better for it I swear.

2- Avoid toxins- This list may or may not include over-processed food, aerosol hairspray, and your self-involved mother-in-law.

3- Ditch the Sweats- In the words of Karl Lagerfeld, “Sweatpants¬†are a sign of defeat. You lost control of your life so you bought some¬†sweatpants.” Preach it, Karl.

4- Make a weekly visit to the park- You get the chance to soak up Vitamin D and see all the goofy kids/puppies you want but can’t afford. Just don’t be creepy about it.

5- Hydrate- Take care of your skin from the inside and glow on the outside! And no, martinis don’t count.

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