Tag Archives: New York

Top 5 Reasons I Like 2014

1- I always do better in even-numbered years. While 21 was fun in ’07, I am quite certain it wasn’t my most productive year yet (unless you take into account my ability to keep a 3.0 whilst spending most of my days [booze] cruising the Charleston harbor :/ 🙂 ].

2- I have SEVERAL fun weddings to look forward to…which means reunions, champagne, and fabulous Instagram photos galore. #bringit

3- I know I will go to Europe at least once this year. Makes the whole newly-adopted 40 hours/week thing bearable.

4- I love my living situation. New York, you know I love ya…but damn it feels good to have a washer and dryer.

5- I still have two years before I need to have my sh*% completely together. 

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Top 5 Reasons I Moved To Tennessee (still got mad love NYC!)

1- I visited and fell in love with the city. I promise cute musicians weren’t the ENTIRE reason…

2- Turns out, having your own washer and dryer isn’t just for fairy tales. 

3- Slowly but surely working toward settling down (and by settling down, I mean getting a dog).

4- Walking ten blocks to the doctor/drug store when you’re sick is for the birds. 

5- I’m grown and I do what I want. 

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Top 5 Things You Don’t Want To See On A Saturday Afternoon

1) Stacked heels. While I love my Louboutins more than anyone, this just comes off a little garish. Save it for the evening, girlfriend. 

2) A line at your favorite bagel place. Ughhhhh, don’t they know that you’ve been looking forward to this egg and cheese treat all week?!

3) An email from work. I’m sorry, I can’t hear you over my complete indifference. ***

4) Inclement weather. Dear powers-that-be, save that mess for lazy Sundays.

5) The inside of a car for more than 45 minutes. However, if forced, this situation can be slightly improved with an icy beverage and Dolly Parton tunes.

***but I promise to care on Monday.

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Top 5 Commuters Who Should Just Disappear

1- The a-hole who sits spread eagle with his (already large) frame. Usually seen taking up 3/4 of the only available bench. Go you-know-what yourself dude.

2- The panicky rico suave who freaks if someone steps on his precious shoes. If they were that nice, you wouldn’t be on the train…mmmk?

3- Anyone who eats anything remotely resembling food. It’s like watching someone eat in the bathroom…Heebiejeebies.

4- The Metrocard fumbler…I don’t care if you have to duck under the turnstile, when that train is coming you better MOVE son!

5- The perv. There’s one on every train and it never gets less awkward or creepy. Blegh!

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Top 5 Ways I Keep It Real

1- Handwritten notes. While it may be prehistoric, my love of stationary requires that I keep up this tradition. Don’t worry though, I still send the obligatory “Happy Birthday” post online.

2- Cowboy boots. No, not the silly little $30 ones from TJ Maxx. Real, live boots…worn with real, live jeans. The kind that have clocked the same amount of hours in the fields as they have on city streets.

3- The ‘Zuk. I’ve had the same car since my senior year of high school. She’s small, has great gas mileage, and above all, doesn’t require any car payments. We’ve been together for 10 years now and I love her dearly.

4- Music. My tastes have not drastically changed since 1996. My typical Pandora rotation goes a little something like this: Tom Petty, Travis Tritt, Rod Stewart, Prince, Billy Joel, Garth Brooks.

5- Public Transit. Nothing more real than that.

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Top 5 Things That Always Seem Suspect

1- The “traffic was terrible/train was delayed/accident on the highway” excuse. Most of us have used this one at some point in our lives…thus no one actually believes it.

2- The sickeningly sweet “do you want to save 10% today?!” request from retailers. Listen sir/madam, I know you don’t care two licks about my savings. What you do care about is meeting your credit card sign-up quota…and frankly, that’s none of my concern.

3- The “unlimited mimosas” trend at local brunch spots. How does this even work?? Does the restaurant not take a beating in profits?? Surely there’s a trick in here somewhere.

4- Any child/teenager that washes your car for no apparent reason. Might wanna go ahead and brace yourself.

5- When a person under the age of 40 goes through and “likes” all of your profile pics. To quote Mariah, why you so obsessed with me?!

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Top 5 Looks New Yorkers Know How To Rock

1- The “I’m not going to a funeral, I’m just super cool” head-to-toe black ensemble.

2- The “I wear my shades everywhere on Sunday because I’m too lazy to put on concealer” babe.

3- The “I’m not from DC, I will wear 6 inch heels even though I’m dying inside” pump façade.

4- The “sooooo retro/indie/urban” look that actually cost thousands of dollars.

5- The “it’s snowing out and I look like a human marshmallow of death” black puffer style.

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Top 5 Things I Want To Yell At People

1- MOVE!! Generally towards large crowds of tourists, children on scooters, and cell phone zombies.

2- STFU!! Not sure why, but I can’t stand to hear about the personal lives of strangers while they’re on the phone. Maybe because I can’t see who they’re talking to? Weird.

3- Make up your damn mind! It’s a lunch order…not the name of your first-born, for Christ’s sake.

4- You so fine!! This one often comes to mind when I see impromptu soccer games/joggers in Central Park.

5- You go girl!! If only it were acceptable to shout encouragement to random citizens for rocking their style, killing it at the gym, or exercising their artistic talents…

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Top 5 Things I Say Quite Regularly

1- No thank you—No I don’t want to attend your free comedy show/buy your tacky counterfeit of an already tacky bag/watch an impromptu one-man show, but yes I will keep my southern manners.

2- Do you take cards?—Believe it or not (as it is the 21st century), many establishments in the NYC area are cash only…and I never have cash. It’s an endless cycle.

3- I wanna go there!!—Even though I travel a good bit, I still have thousands (if not more!) of destinations on the wish list. #travelproblems

4- Where the F*&% is my MetroCard?—#nycproblems

5- My feet hurt—Yes, I realize this is a problem of my own making. No, I will not give up my heels. Someone pass me the Tylenol.

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Top 5 Things I Complain About

1- The constant need for my electronics to be charged. Needy much?!?!

2- The remarkable ability for the ONE item I need to somehow disappear in my closet. WHERE IS THAT BLACK TANK?

3- The lack of air conditioners in New York City. This southern girl likes to live life at a cool 70 degrees (when inside, of course).

4- Bad manicures. If I wanted it to look like a 5-year-old painted my nails, I would do it myself.

5- The opinionated uninformed. Just STFU already, mmk?

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