Tag Archives: music

Top 5 Ways I Keep It Real

1- Handwritten notes. While it may be prehistoric, my love of stationary requires that I keep up this tradition. Don’t worry though, I still send the obligatory “Happy Birthday” post online.

2- Cowboy boots. No, not the silly little $30 ones from TJ Maxx. Real, live boots…worn with real, live jeans. The kind that have clocked the same amount of hours in the fields as they have on city streets.

3- The ‘Zuk. I’ve had the same car since my senior year of high school. She’s small, has great gas mileage, and above all, doesn’t require any car payments. We’ve been together for 10 years now and I love her dearly.

4- Music. My tastes have not drastically changed since 1996. My typical Pandora rotation goes a little something like this: Tom Petty, Travis Tritt, Rod Stewart, Prince, Billy Joel, Garth Brooks.

5- Public Transit. Nothing more real than that.

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Top 5 Reasons I Love Country Music

1- It reminds me of going to little bluegrass shacks as a child and listening to my mama sing.

2- Not sure why, but I love a good sad song…and no one sings ’em better than Patsy.

3- You haven’t lived until you’ve heard a crowd of drunks really get into “You don’t have to call me darlin.” Or perhaps been one of them…

4- Dolly Parton is my hero…always has been, always will be. 

5- I still have a crush on 1990s Travis Tritt. Drift off to dream indeed…

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Top 5 Ways To Host An Impressive Shindig

1- Offer speciality drinks in a fancy glass. Since the first thing people do is grab a drink, this immediately lets your guests know they’re in for a good time.

2- Make sure you have fresh flowers. An extra touch impresses much!

3- Have a steady supply of party-pleasing tunes. Nothing is more awkward than the silent spell caused by someone picking a new playlist.

4- Keep the lights low. No one actually wants to be seen getting jiggy with it.

5- DO NOT RUN OUT OF LIBATIONS. Sadly, even your best of friends will call it quits if this happens.

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Top 5 Times I Don’t Play

1- If you cut me in line. Guess what? I didn’t stand here for 30 min to save your place…now git.

2- When threatened. Go ‘head with your bad self. I don’t like to fight…but I’m not afraid to bleed.

3- When my song/show is playing. Silence, I tell you! Silence!

4- On a road trip. You get one stop per every four hours…use it wisely.

5- When my food arrives. Don’t even think about touching it unless you have something desirable to offer in return (but in that case…taste away!).

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Top 5 Things You Learn In Traffic

1- That there is a fine line between being an opportunist and having a death wish.

2- That motorists in [any other state than your own] just DON’T know how to drive.

3- That the right music can prevent a total mind meltdown. Thanks, MJ.

4- That children and traffic jams do not mix. WHERE IS THAT DAMN SIPPY CUP?!

5- That “shooting a bird” isn’t just for mischievous 8-year-old boys on the playground. Grownups can play that game too, son!

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Top 5 Things That Should Be Outlawed…Forever

1- Tan/Nude leggings. You look naked, girlfriend.

2- Singing too loudly along with the radio. Everyone has this friend…and we all want to smack him/her in the face.  [This also goes for those who sing unintentionally operatic versions of pop/rock/rap songs…know your genre, people]

3- Chris Brown.

4- Overweight baggage fees. I’m sorry, I have better ways to spend that 100+ dollars thankyouverymuch.

5- Lawn mowers before 11:00 am. Furthermore, breaking this particular ordinance should be punishable by death.

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Top 5 Ways To Turn Around A Craptastic Day

1- If the weather is nice, go to the store and purchase your most favorite mag. Next, pick a cute little restaurant, sit outside, and have a great meal while you read the magazine front-back. It’s the perfect way to de-stress!

2-  Choose your favorite artist (or buy the new record you’ve been wanting) and turn it on while you take a long, relaxing bath. Extra points if you exfoliate.

3- Go to the gym and rock out to hardcore rock/rap. You’ll be ready to kick some ass in no time.

4- Order your favorite delivery and have a DVR party for one. However, limit yourself to three episodes…more than that and you just start to feel worse.

5- If all else fails, call your mom.

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