Tag Archives: luggage

Top 5 Things I Just Can’t Accept

1- That my friends are actually starting to have children ON PURPOSE. When did this start happening?!?!

2- That in Manhattan it costs $23.00 for a mani/pedi and $8.00 for a box of cereal. Clearly, there is something wrong with this picture.

3- That white shoes are “in”—nope, nope, nope. I shall not agree to this nonsense.

4- That Gwyneth Paltrow is the “World’s Most Beautiful Woman”…sorry I’m not sorry, G-Pal. 

5- That all the good ones are taken. Surely there is a male version of myself out there…minus the clumsiness and inability to follow directions. ***must also carry luggage.

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Top 5 Ways I Say I Love You

1- I watch any sporting event for more than 15 minutes…and don’t complain about it.

2- I pick you up at the airport…and brave the godawful Newark, NJ traffic.

3- I cheerfully tolerate your dog licking/jumping on me….and don’t show that I’m dying inside.

4- I go camping/rock climbing/mountain biking…even though I would rather be watching a play in a pleasantly climate-controlled room. 

5- I attempt to cook ANYTHING…even though following recipes makes me angry. I hate being told what to do.

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Top 5 Reasons I Should Maybe Settle Down

1- I’m sick of carrying my own f*&^i@g luggage.

2- I’m petite (i.e. short) and can never reach the top shelf of anything.

3- I figure two minds have a higher likelihood of remembering to put the trash out for pick-up.

4- My mother will kill me if I don’t pass her good looks on to future generations.

5- Jon Hamm isn’t getting any younger.

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Top 5 Ways To Ch-Ravel (Cheaply Travel…get it?)

1- Throw privacy, caution, and fornication to the wind and stay in a hostel. You may have to stay (alone) in one tiny twin bed in a room with six other people…but it will be for under 30 bucks a night.

2- Refuse to check luggage and forcibly squeeze all of your belongings in a carry-on case. Traveling in the summer makes this humanly possible…extra points for losing weight and buying smaller clothes.

3- Build character by buying the cheap seats. Ya know, the ones where you stand for most of the six hour train ride. Been There/Done That.

4- Flirt like you’ve never flirted before. Seriously—instant 75% off all food and drinks. Married? Just divide and conquer.

5- Dine and ditch. Kidding!! But do take your food to go…you save major bucks on tipping & food is often cheaper as takeout abroad (weird, right?). Plus, what’s more romantic than sharing a crêpe within plain sight of La Tour Eiffel…

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Top 5 Tips For Living Out of a Suitcase

1- Layer. No, really. I could not COUNT the times I have left my beautiful, warm, and southern hometown decked out in a peacoat, scarf, and warm boots. You may look like the Michelin Man, but the fact of the matter is that winter clothes take up the most space…so layer it on and tell the carry-on scale to stick it where the sun don’t shine.

2- Just say no to nostalgia. When I first started traveling, I would keep every pamphlet, train ticket, theatre program, receipt…you name it. Then I realized, AIN’T NOBODY GOT ROOM FOR DAT. It eventually turns into clutter, it stresses you out, and well, most of us just aren’t the scrapbooking type (Thank God).

3- 4-Wheel Luggage. Holy sweet mother of all that is just. This will change your life. The difference between hauling the traditional 2-wheels and its 4-wheel counterpart is the difference between, say, planking throughout the entirety of Gone with the Wind…or watching comfortably from your king size bed.

4- Perfume. One thing that is far and few between in travel, is the taken-for-granted luxury of laundry service. Solution? Spray and (not actually) Wash! Sounds gross, but a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do.

5- Shoes and books are your greatest enemy.  They will try to lure you with their beauty, quality, and all around vintage-ness…but the pull is pure evil and should be resisted! These SOBs are heavy and will break your back…not to mention your bank account when you incur a few overweight fees. Eventually, you’ll just end up throwing them away in the airport trash bins to save your last 40 bucks.

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