Tag Archives: loud

Top 5 Signs You’re Too Old For This Sh*&

1- One night out means at least two full days of recovery…which means you spend the rest of your weekend with Seamless and Netflix. So not a cute look, girlfriend.

2- You leave bars because they’re too loud and you can’t participate in meaningful conversation…because, ya know, that’s what everyone is looking for on a Saturday night.

3- The thought of taking a Fireball shot makes you want to hurl…EVEN if it’s completely free of charge.

4- You leave happy hour at a reasonable hour so you can take your dog out…and don’t harbor any resentment towards your furry friend.

5- When you see someone living out their rockstar fantasies, you secretly thank your lucky stars that it’s not you. Live and let live!

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Top 5 Looks I Can’t Help But Give

1- The “I know you are not about to eat off my plate” stare.

2- The ever-so-slight “I don’t believe a word out of your mouth” smile.

3- The “You did NOT just say that to my friend” glare.

4- The “So you work out twice a day and speak three languages?” ogle.

5- The “It’s too early and you’re way too loud” scowl.

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Top 5 Things That Should Be Outlawed…Forever

1- Tan/Nude leggings. You look naked, girlfriend.

2- Singing too loudly along with the radio. Everyone has this friend…and we all want to smack him/her in the face.  [This also goes for those who sing unintentionally operatic versions of pop/rock/rap songs…know your genre, people]

3- Chris Brown.

4- Overweight baggage fees. I’m sorry, I have better ways to spend that 100+ dollars thankyouverymuch.

5- Lawn mowers before 11:00 am. Furthermore, breaking this particular ordinance should be punishable by death.

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