Tag Archives: late

Top 5 Reasons To Avoid The Mall

1- Abercrombie and Fitch. The noise, the nauseating perfume, the crowd of tweens and/or toolbags…best if left to their own devices.

2- Parking is a pain in the ass. Without a doubt, someone will try to steal your spot, knock a door into your shiny new whip, or take forrreeevvverrr to get into their *&@*#&@ car.

3- Books-A-Million is a time vortex and will steal hours from your life…a fact you won’t realize until you’ve missed your dentist appointment, forgotten the kids at school, and forgone your dinner plans.

4- Chinese Food. That shiz is SO not organic…but you know you’ll order it. Who has the wherewithal to avoid those delicious little samples?! Not me, I say.

5- The lycra. It’s everywhere…on the bodies of fellow shoppers, for sale in the department stores, and cloaking the (generally uninterested) salespeople. Avoid, avoid, avoid.

 

 

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Top 5 Things That Stress Me Out

1- Identity Theft Commercials: One moment you’re happily enthralled in Rachel Zoe…then Bam! PanicMode.

2- Obtaining the perfect milk/cereal ratio: 26 years on this planet and it hasn’t happened yet.

3- Remembering to say “No Whip: I have a huge problem wasting calories on things I don’t even like to eat. Yuck.

4- Tardiness:  Cannot. Handle. It.

5- Health Insurance/Car Insurance/Home Insurance:  This guy understands.Image

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