Tag Archives: Italy

Top 5 Skills I’ve Learned In Europe

1- Holding on for dear life. Yes, Ryanair…I’m talking to you. Really though, what can you expect when you pay .50 pence for a flight to Spain (plus taxes of course)??

2- Eating outside. No thank you, I will NOT pay an eat-in fee. C’mon jambon baguette…let’s go sit under the Eiffel Tower. 

3- Avoiding cute flower panhandlers. Not sure what it is, but Europe has much more attractive vagabonds and crooks than we do here in the States. And naturally, they all tell you how beautiful you are…bella americana, indeed.

4- Reading a (real, live) map without the help of my beloved iPhone. No international service brings out the retro in all of us.

5- Asking for ice…and specifically, more than one piece of it. 


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Top 5 Things That Are Never Going To Work

1-  Two-in-One Shampoo! Why is it that every godforsaken time I stay at a (heterosexual) male’s home, I end up washing my hair with this shit? It doesn’t exactly clean and it fo sho don’t moisturize. I get that it’s cheaper, easier, and quicker…but look where that got Anna Nicole Smith.

2- Cheap ass pencil erasers. We’ve all been there…you try to change your to you’re and before you know it, well, your paper resembles some sort of ash repository.

3- The “Dress Over Jeans” look. Every few years, rogue fashion editors decide that this “style” is a new (not) and fresh (not again) way to spice up the adventurous girl’s wardrobe. Newsflash: It’s not flattering and it looks hella stupid.

4- Acquiescing to tantrums to make bad behavior go away. Au contraire, this is a surefire way to ensure you get one of these little performances over every.damn.disagreement. Kids are smart man…and they most certainly understand the “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” rule. Let the screaming commence.

5- Public transportation in Italy. The scenery is gorgeous, the food is too good, and the people are far too good-looking. They have better things to do. Buona Fortuna.

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