Tag Archives: internet

Top 5 Things That Always Seem Suspect

1- The “traffic was terrible/train was delayed/accident on the highway” excuse. Most of us have used this one at some point in our lives…thus no one actually believes it.

2- The sickeningly sweet “do you want to save 10% today?!” request from retailers. Listen sir/madam, I know you don’t care two licks about my savings. What you do care about is meeting your credit card sign-up quota…and frankly, that’s none of my concern.

3- The “unlimited mimosas” trend at local brunch spots. How does this even work?? Does the restaurant not take a beating in profits?? Surely there’s a trick in here somewhere.

4- Any child/teenager that washes your car for no apparent reason. Might wanna go ahead and brace yourself.

5- When a person under the age of 40 goes through and “likes” all of your profile pics. To quote Mariah, why you so obsessed with me?!

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Top 5 Things I Take For Granted…Until They’re Gone

1- Good health- Ya know, it’s like you don’t even notice it when it’s there…but when it’s gone, it’s all you freaking think about/want in life.

2- Wifi- Same sentiment as above.

3- Smart phones- Please, please never make me have to actually look up a number, then remember it long enough to save, again!

4- Public Transportation- Yea, so uh, what do you mean the trains aren’t working today? I mean…can you even do that? Oh yes, yes you can. F U Sandy.

5- Milk- It’s like I don’t even want the stuff until it’s sitting in my fridge…spoiled.

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