Tag Archives: insurance

Top 5 F%$@)#G Annoying Things I Did Today

1- Tracked down my W-2s. While freelancing most definitely has its perks, it all comes to a screeching halt around tax time. Fourteen emails and nine W-2s later…yea, you get the picture.

2- Talked to my dental insurer on the phone. Really riveting stuff.

3- Wore fabulous, yet slightly uncomfortable, shoes. I fear this is a lesson I will never learn.

4- Burnt my lunch. Impressive, since the only cooking required was to place it in the oven.

5- Cleaned out my car…aka the place where water bottles and magazines go to die.

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Top 5 Signs You’ve Started A New Job

1- You iron/steam your clothes every day.

2- You arrive at least ten minutes early in the morning.

3- You scoff at all of those job search emails you keep receiving.

4- You have never been more excited about scheduling a dental appointment.

5- You have no clue what is going on around you.

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Top 5 Lies I Tell Myself

1- Paying outrageous rent in Manhattan balances out because I don’t have a car.

2- Wavy/Frizzy hair is natural and beautiful…not just a sign of laziness.

3- I have the patience, time, and money for a dog in the near future.

4- Walking around in 6 inch heels counts as a leg workout.

5- Diet starts tomorrow.

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Top 5 Words You Never Want To Hear Your Mom Say

1- Sexy. Gross, gross, ga-rossss!! Full body cringe, indeed.

2- Insurance. A stressful conversation is bound to follow, no doubt.

3- Marriage. Let’s cross that bridge when we get there, mmk? 

4- Your *insert family member here. When they stop becoming hers and suddenly belong only to you, family drama is a’ brewing.

5- Excuse me?! Uh-oh…now you’ve done it. Best bet is to make yourself scarce.

 

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Top 5 Things That Stress Me Out

1- Identity Theft Commercials: One moment you’re happily enthralled in Rachel Zoe…then Bam! PanicMode.

2- Obtaining the perfect milk/cereal ratio: 26 years on this planet and it hasn’t happened yet.

3- Remembering to say “No Whip: I have a huge problem wasting calories on things I don’t even like to eat. Yuck.

4- Tardiness:  Cannot. Handle. It.

5- Health Insurance/Car Insurance/Home Insurance:  This guy understands.Image

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Top 5 Phrases I Loathe To Hear

1- “Well, actually”—Who’s with me? Generally speaking, these two little words are the most condescending beginning to any sentence ever uttered. And more often than not, the speaker just didn’t get your sarcasm in the sentence prior to this little verbal slap.

2- “Hand me/ Give me/ Get me”—If I wanted to take commands, I would’ve joined the military. However, pepper in a few “would you’s” or “could you’s” and I’m all ears.

3- “They …. (fill in the blank)”—In this instance, “they” refers to any religious choice, ethnic group or frankly, any mass grouping of INDIVIDUALS. If you do this, please stop…it’s incredibly offensive.

4- “First World Problems”—Can’t we think of a better phrase for this sentiment? While I do believe that we do need to put our privileged “problems” in check (broken Keurig, lost wifi password, etc), I always get a dirty feeling when hearing this statement. Too many people seem to say it in a cocky and pretentious, “Oh I’m so lucky” way…and that is so not cute.

5- “You have to be a realist”—This one is courtesy of my mother. Ya know what, maybe I want to have two jobs in high school, travel the world, meet a prince (no lie, totes happened)…and live off of ramen and good times. Insurance is overrated, anyways 😉

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