Tag Archives: index

Top 5 Things I Find Wildly Unattractive

1- Chatty men- When I go on and on about my friends’ personal lives, I better see a hint of mild disinterest on your face.

2- Sneakers with jeans- It just can’t help but look a little…dorky. Nothing a pair of boots or loafers can’t fix.

3- Paying at dinner/movies/concerts/etc- Sure, I’ll go for the reach every time…and I completely agree that it’s unfair that this double standard exists. But exist it does.

4- Polo shirts with an athletic allegiance- Just not for me and I’ll say no more.

5- Swoop haircuts- If it looks anything like your preacher, politician, or 8-year-old self would sport…say hello to the swoop. 

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Top 5 Signs You Need To Get Out Of Town

1- You are up-to-date on all of the recent Netflix releases…and consider it quite the accomplishment.

2- You are still hanging out with your ex-boyfriend…and you can’t figure out if it’s because of boredom or genuine affection.

3- You consider housesitting a real adventure.

4- You can’t remember the last time you saw your college peeps…or reminisced about the time that one of you spray painted the house with her cat’s name.

5- You have worn out your welcome at the local Starbucks, Panera, and Au Bon Pain…and have started calling these places your “office.”

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Top 5 Ways To Freak Out Your Neighbor

1- Mow the lawn in a santa suit…in the middle of July.

2- Label a spot in your driveway “Client Parking – 1 Hour Max.”

3- Put a life-size cut-out of the Backstreet Boys in your bedroom window.

4- Invite them to the opening of your in-home dog rescue/daycare center.

5- Knock on their door just to ask if they had a nice day.

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Top 5 Moments I Want To Relive

1- Getting my driver’s license. Oh the freedom! Oh the glory! Oh the possibilities! Almost too much for a well-intentioned 15-year-old to handle (yes I said 15…can you tell I’m from the South?!).

2- Traveling abroad alone for the first time. True, I was crying and terrified when I actually walked away from my family/thenboyfriend…but my how that moment changed me!

3- 8th Grade Awards Day. Boy, did I clean UP that spring afternoon. I had more awards/medals than General Petraeus…and without the awkward cheating scandal to boot!

4- My first cocktail party. It was love at first sight.

5- Watching my grandpa get his first dealership bought, no miles, brand spanking new pick-up. As much as the old codger wouldn’t admit it, the joy was written all over his face.

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Top 5 Times I Don’t Play

1- If you cut me in line. Guess what? I didn’t stand here for 30 min to save your place…now git.

2- When threatened. Go ‘head with your bad self. I don’t like to fight…but I’m not afraid to bleed.

3- When my song/show is playing. Silence, I tell you! Silence!

4- On a road trip. You get one stop per every four hours…use it wisely.

5- When my food arrives. Don’t even think about touching it unless you have something desirable to offer in return (but in that case…taste away!).

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