Tag Archives: heels

Top 5 Things You Don’t Want To See On A Saturday Afternoon

1) Stacked heels. While I love my Louboutins more than anyone, this just comes off a little garish. Save it for the evening, girlfriend. 

2) A line at your favorite bagel place. Ughhhhh, don’t they know that you’ve been looking forward to this egg and cheese treat all week?!

3) An email from work. I’m sorry, I can’t hear you over my complete indifference. ***

4) Inclement weather. Dear powers-that-be, save that mess for lazy Sundays.

5) The inside of a car for more than 45 minutes. However, if forced, this situation can be slightly improved with an icy beverage and Dolly Parton tunes.

***but I promise to care on Monday.

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Top 5 Reasons You Should Go To The Beach

1- The frizzier the hair, the more fun you’re having.

2- You get to show off your masterful self-tanning skills…which is no small feat. 

3- Heels are frowned upon, so now’s the chance to give your worn out arches a break.

4- It’s the perfect excuse to eat shrimp every.single.night. Shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo. Pan-fried, deep fried, stir-fried. There’s pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup…

5- It’s good for your soul, fool! Now hit the road.

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Top 5 Looks New Yorkers Know How To Rock

1- The “I’m not going to a funeral, I’m just super cool” head-to-toe black ensemble.

2- The “I wear my shades everywhere on Sunday because I’m too lazy to put on concealer” babe.

3- The “I’m not from DC, I will wear 6 inch heels even though I’m dying inside” pump façade.

4- The “sooooo retro/indie/urban” look that actually cost thousands of dollars.

5- The “it’s snowing out and I look like a human marshmallow of death” black puffer style.

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Top 5 Things I Say Quite Regularly

1- No thank you—No I don’t want to attend your free comedy show/buy your tacky counterfeit of an already tacky bag/watch an impromptu one-man show, but yes I will keep my southern manners.

2- Do you take cards?—Believe it or not (as it is the 21st century), many establishments in the NYC area are cash only…and I never have cash. It’s an endless cycle.

3- I wanna go there!!—Even though I travel a good bit, I still have thousands (if not more!) of destinations on the wish list. #travelproblems

4- Where the F*&% is my MetroCard?—#nycproblems

5- My feet hurt—Yes, I realize this is a problem of my own making. No, I will not give up my heels. Someone pass me the Tylenol.

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Top 5 Things Every Girl Should Keep In Her Car

1- Tweezers- You will never, and I mean ever, find better lighting for plucking your brows!

2- Floss/Toothbrush- Because, well, being “safe” can take on so many connotations…

3- Sassy Black Heels/Comfy Flats- You never know when life will throw you an impromptu night out…or a pair of painful new pumps. Be prepared!

4- A wall AND car charger for your phone- Sadly, in our new world, there is nothing more terrifying and unsettling than being disconnected from your 4G/5G/987G. Don’t get caught in the dead zone.

5- Real, live cash money- What?! That still exists you say? Alas my friend, it does. And as someone who has personally had to dig around in my floorboard (whilst holding up traffic) to pay a $1.50 toll, I can say that it is a glorious thing to have at your disposal.

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