Tag Archives: hair

Top 5 Things You Should Just Forget About

1- Getting a decent parking spot on any college campus. In related news, don’t even try to park illegally…fifty bucks says there is a parking services agent hiding in the bushes. 

2- Wearing your hair down in this heat. Don’t lie girl, you know that ‘do is gonna be in a topknot before you even make it to the subway.

3- Waking up early to work out on the weekend. I’ve told myself this was going to happen, oh, a few THOUSAND times in my life…and I’ve never done it once.

4- Acting funny, witty, smooth, or refined when needed. Sorry player, this is going to be the EXACT moment you knock over your glass and/or get a piece of basil stuck in your teeth.

5- Choosing the “right” line in security. It’s always a gamble…and I inevitably get stuck behind the newb who forgets to take out his laptop…way to hold up the entire.freaking.line. dude…

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Top 5 Rules of PDA

1- If it’s not dark, put it in park. While stolen kisses on a midnight stroll can (sometimes) be unoffensive, the same scene in daylight makes most people want to vomit all over your romantic moment.

2- If you must, be tasteful and find an alley. After all, courtesy is what makes the world go ’round.

3- Sitting in laps should be kept under 5 minutes. Otherwise, it’s just juvenile and weird.

4- Hair touching should be kept to a minimum. Something about this seems so intimate/really freaking awkward to witness.

5- Absolutely no tongue. Ever. Everevereverevereverever.

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Top 5 Lies I Tell Myself

1- Paying outrageous rent in Manhattan balances out because I don’t have a car.

2- Wavy/Frizzy hair is natural and beautiful…not just a sign of laziness.

3- I have the patience, time, and money for a dog in the near future.

4- Walking around in 6 inch heels counts as a leg workout.

5- Diet starts tomorrow.

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Top 5 Reasons You Should Go To The Beach

1- The frizzier the hair, the more fun you’re having.

2- You get to show off your masterful self-tanning skills…which is no small feat. 

3- Heels are frowned upon, so now’s the chance to give your worn out arches a break.

4- It’s the perfect excuse to eat shrimp every.single.night. Shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo. Pan-fried, deep fried, stir-fried. There’s pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup…

5- It’s good for your soul, fool! Now hit the road.

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Top 5 Things From Which You Just Can’t Recover

1- Forgetting to wash the conditioner out of your hair. If you’re on a time crunch, put it in a bun and swear up and down you’re rocking the “Black Swan” look.

2- Talking smack about someone standing directly behind you. Check yourself before you wreck yourself!

3- Being a Chris Brown fan. If his physical assaultS aren’t bad enough, his Halloween costumes/tattoos/tweets/etc prove he is a horrible human being who does not deserve your money and/or support.

4- Getting embarrassingly intoxicated at a work function. Two drink max, people!

5- Being labeled a “Homewrecker.” Ask Angelina Jolie, it’s been eight years and people still hate her…and she’s a Goodwill Ambassador!! Be nice and wait your turn.

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