Tag Archives: glamour

Top 5 Reasons I Need To Make It Big

1- I really, really love jewels and gemstones. So much it hurts. With that said—most occupations frown upon, say my new antique rhinestone watch, as everyday attire. Hmph.

2- I don’t like maneuvering with the masses. Under most circumstances, you couldn’t pay me to go to a stadium-filled concert (Dolly excluded, obv)…but I still like to partake in the fun. Private concert at Versailles anyone? 

3- Sometimes, weekly manicures are the only thing that makes the world tolerable. 

4- I want to be able to wear what I want, where I want, at any time I want. In other words, caftans and diamonds all day/err day.

5- I would do really nice things. Charitable things. I’ve already gotten my platforms figured out actually, just in case you’re wondering. 

 

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Top 5 Things That Secretly Annoy Me…Until Now

1- Complaints about the amount of advertising in fashion magazines. Um hello, that’s the best part!! It’s the quickest/easiest way to pinpoint new aesthetics for the season and, quite honestly, is just really pretty!

2- When people proudly espouse opinions that are held by the general public. Yes, if you go in Wal-Mart you will most likely encounter interesting sides of humanity…and the root ingredients used by Taco Bell are probably found in tire rubber and petrol. Tell me something I don’t know. 

3- Recipes. Just another form of being told what to do.

4- Group texts. As most of you probably know, I’m not a phone person…and every time that dadblamed notification goes off it stresses me out. Plus, there’s always that one person who doesn’t know when to let it go.

5- Men who always let their wives dress them, no questions asked. First of all, get some opinions and a backbone. Secondly, leave the mothering to your mother.

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Top 5 Things That Should Be An Inalienable Right

1- Wi-fi. This can be a matter of life or death…for instance, what if I miss #tbt and have to wait ANOTHER week to post that super cute childhood photo of myself? What will people do?!

2- Gym memberships. Seriously, ya’ll. The world would be a happier, healthier, and more beautiful place…and that’s the hard-bodied truth.

3- Taxis after 11:00 pm. It’s a matter of public safety (and achy-yet stylish-Louboutin-clad feet).

4- Metrocards that NEVER expire. If this law were enacted, it would make spring cleaning SO much more exciting.

5- Marriage to any whiney, temperamental, and otherwise rotten person you choose…everyone deserves the equal right to make one another miserable.

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Top 5 Things I Learned From My Granny

1- Only buy/wear white if you have full intentions of caring for it properly.

2- If a gift is received, a thank you card is written [in a timely fashion]. No exceptions.

3- Never wear “yard clothes” to town. Being presentable is a sign of respect.

4- You can get almost any stain out with determination and brute strength. Don’t give up!

5- Petite women (i.e. all women in my family) should not wear “long, draggy” dresses or baggy clothes. Flaunt what you’ve got!

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