Tag Archives: gardening

Top 5 Things That Should Be Outlawed…Forever

1- Tan/Nude leggings. You look naked, girlfriend.

2- Singing too loudly along with the radio. Everyone has this friend…and we all want to smack him/her in the face.  [This also goes for those who sing unintentionally operatic versions of pop/rock/rap songs…know your genre, people]

3- Chris Brown.

4- Overweight baggage fees. I’m sorry, I have better ways to spend that 100+ dollars thankyouverymuch.

5- Lawn mowers before 11:00 am. Furthermore, breaking this particular ordinance should be punishable by death.

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Top 5 Things The South Has Taught Me

1- The terms “honey, darling, sugar, and sweetie” do not necessarily convey positive sentiments. When delivered just right, they can be the most hateful words you’ve ever heard.

2- Shoes are wildly overrated. Only necessary when going to town or to church.

3- If she can’t make good sweet tea, she ain’t fit to wed. 

4- If it grows in the garden, it’s good enough to fry.

5- Relatives are great for borrowing pick-ups, helping you move, and giving you ridiculous nicknames. Just ask Teeny, Doodle, Shug, or Bugs [all members of my sweet family].

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Top 5 Reasons I Can’t Wait To Get Older

1- Gardening. I dream of the day when, like my oh-so-lovely grandmother, I know every name of every flower ever grown in every terrain…I mean, how do old people do that?!

2- Saving money on cosmetics—Sephora, plan accordingly. There is a slight chance your stocks will plummet. 

3- Comfortable footwear—Every. Single. Day.

4- Feeling guilt-free when I take the elevator. It will be so nice to not feel so humiliated when caught in this shameful act! Third floor anyone? Let’s ride.

5- Going on girls’ trips to exotic locales—and proving to the world that it just gets better with age. You can get a senior discount on daiquiris, right?

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