Tag Archives: friends

Top 5 Random Confessions (Go Ahead And Judge)

1-  I don’t get the whole cereal addiction. There is absolutely no way HUMANLY POSSIBLE to get the cereal to milk ratio correct and frankly, it’s too loud in my ears.

2- Even though I typically order balsamic, I would rather be having ranch.

3- I was always confused by the whole “mirror, mirror on the wall” thing. Clearly the Queen is prettier than Snow White.

4- Quite often, I would rather be alone. I like to read, ponder, think, write, and wander…all things that are tricky to do in tandem.

5- I have an obsessive need to know how things are spelled. My brain processes thoughts in words, so if I don’t know how to spell something it’s like a jammed record player until the issue is resolved. Just ask my friends (especially the superfreak smart ones) how often I say “how do you spell that?”.

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Top 5 Reasons I Like 2014

1- I always do better in even-numbered years. While 21 was fun in ’07, I am quite certain it wasn’t my most productive year yet (unless you take into account my ability to keep a 3.0 whilst spending most of my days [booze] cruising the Charleston harbor :/ 🙂 ].

2- I have SEVERAL fun weddings to look forward to…which means reunions, champagne, and fabulous Instagram photos galore. #bringit

3- I know I will go to Europe at least once this year. Makes the whole newly-adopted 40 hours/week thing bearable.

4- I love my living situation. New York, you know I love ya…but damn it feels good to have a washer and dryer.

5- I still have two years before I need to have my sh*% completely together. 

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Top 5 Indicators That We Might Get Along

1- You use your jacket to cover your bag when it rains…and stare in horror at people who use theirs for overhead coverage.

2- You know the difference between Jonathan Jackson and Joshua Jackson.

3- You understand the gist of public transportation and can read a subway map.

4- You like Dolly Parton.

5- You think PDA is the most abominable thing before 11:00 pm…and the most admissible afterwards.

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Top 5 Side Effects Of Driving 15+ Hours

1- You are either doing the “I’m just gonna rest one eye” trick or you’re so jacked up on caffeine that you won’t sleep for weeks (when given the opportunity, choose the latter).

2- Your knuckles are crazy sore from clutching the wheel during multiple torrential downpours…rain, rain, for the love of god, PLEASE go away!

3- You are now a lyrical expert on the entire Top 40 list…because the same songs play over and over and over again. Thanks for that, RiRi.

4- If driving alone, you are mind-numbingly bored and lonely. If driving with others, you never want to see another human being for the rest of your life.

5- Your bathroom standards have lowered exponentially.

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Top 5 Things That Should Always Be Celebrated

1- Your grandma’s birthday. Chances are, this little lady has lived through wars, unmedicated childbirth, and life without Wi-Fi….she deserves a damn birthday cake.

2- The 4th of July. It’s in the summer. It’s a drama-free holiday. You’re promised burgers, booze, and fireworks…God Bless America, indeed!

3- The return to singledom. Ain’t no party like a breakup party, ‘cuz a breakup party don’t stop…until you decide to take home the cheesy, but sweet, bearded bartender (who will now and forever be referred to as Rebound Robert).

4- Career advancement. Howwww many baby showers have you attended? Howww many presents have you purchased for these little gatherings? Correct me if I’m wrong, but that promotion *may* have taken a little more work than babymaking. Wine gifting should be mandatory.

5- Your favorite show. As ridiculous as it may sound, most people have at least ONE show that they cannot live without. You feel like part of the family, you hurt when they hurt, you root for that one special character…and you go nuts when the season returns. So gather your other groupies, make themed drinks/snacks, and celebrate the return of the Targaryens (or Lannisters, Starks, Tyrells…).

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Top 5 People To Be Avoided On Flights

1- The Chatter. Okay sure, being friendly is nice…but do I need to hear about your health issues and every stamp on your passport? No, not really—so respect the headphones, please.

2- The Snorer. This habit is barely, barely, tolerable in someone you love/are married to/have children with/plan on nursing through old age. When it comes from a stranger, all bets are off…and I’ve got sharp elbows.

3- The Eater. Munch, munch, rustle, rustle, slurp, slurp, crunch, crunch…annoyed yet??

4- The Baby. There is nothing like the terror of seeing a small child approach you on a flight. It’s like The Hunger Games…please, please don’t choose me!!!!!

5- The Mover. You know the guy…needs to get something from the overhead baggage, has to stretch his legs, must go to the restroom for the 90183th time. Sure dude…crawl over me again…it’s not awkward at all!!

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Top 5 Things I Know To Be True

1- Traveling to another country will change your life. Whether you learn how to speak a second language, visit ancient ruins, or discover a banging recipe for sangria…you will come home a better person. Now go forth and prosper!

2- You will never regret looking nice. Ne-v-er. So shine those shoes, go to the cleaners, and put your best foot forward—You’re decorating the world, after all!

3- You’re only as good as your last conversation. Treat people with respect and appreciate every exchange…one day, these words may be be your last!

4- Friendships require upkeep, so invest in those you want to keep around…and don’t forget the bubbly.

5- Love is weird…and rarely unconditional. So appreciate what you’ve got and work hard to keep it, ya hear?

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Top 5 Things I Just Can’t Accept

1- That my friends are actually starting to have children ON PURPOSE. When did this start happening?!?!

2- That in Manhattan it costs $23.00 for a mani/pedi and $8.00 for a box of cereal. Clearly, there is something wrong with this picture.

3- That white shoes are “in”—nope, nope, nope. I shall not agree to this nonsense.

4- That Gwyneth Paltrow is the “World’s Most Beautiful Woman”…sorry I’m not sorry, G-Pal. 

5- That all the good ones are taken. Surely there is a male version of myself out there…minus the clumsiness and inability to follow directions. ***must also carry luggage.

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Top 5 Things I Don’t Want To Hear About

1- Your calorie counting. It’s horrible enough to have to listen to your own brain do the math.

2- The problem you refuse to fix (by far, toxic relationships top this list!).

3- Food shopping. I just don’t understand the excitement.

4- The 10 guys that hit on you at last night’s party. Newsflash, you sound like an asshole.

5- Any long drawn out “issue” discussion. We’re all screwed up…accept this little fact and be happy with the company!

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Top 5 Reasons I’m Happy I’m Not 18 Again

1- No matter what happens, I will die knowing I didn’t screw up my education. Seriously, from birth this was my greatest fear!

2- I could not care less if anyone on the planet likes my outfit. I love different and interesting clothes…and am more than happy to let my freak flag fly!

3- I no longer have the “if it’s free I should eat it/drink it” mentality. Less is definitely more, people.

4- I have no fear of subways, bus schedules, european trains, and airports. At 18, navigating these hubs was nothing short of terrifying!

5- I can go into any bar, in any country, and order a glass of wine. My 18 year-old-self would be so jealous.

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