Tag Archives: flight

Top 5 Rules of Nature

1- No matter how powerful/successful you are, you are nothing compared to the entity that brings about hurricanes, tornados, tsunamis, etc…so don’t get too big for your britches.

2- Darwinism is alive and real…so going swimming after that fifth beer is not the greatest idea.

3- If you don’t know what it is, don’t touch it.

4- When drawing attention to yourself for mating purposes, make sure you’re not also attracting dangerous predators.

5- Be capable of fighting and/or flighting…otherwise your lifespan doesn’t look that promising.

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Top 5 Skills I’ve Learned In Europe

1- Holding on for dear life. Yes, Ryanair…I’m talking to you. Really though, what can you expect when you pay .50 pence for a flight to Spain (plus taxes of course)??

2- Eating outside. No thank you, I will NOT pay an eat-in fee. C’mon jambon baguette…let’s go sit under the Eiffel Tower. 

3- Avoiding cute flower panhandlers. Not sure what it is, but Europe has much more attractive vagabonds and crooks than we do here in the States. And naturally, they all tell you how beautiful you are…bella americana, indeed.

4- Reading a (real, live) map without the help of my beloved iPhone. No international service brings out the retro in all of us.

5- Asking for ice…and specifically, more than one piece of it. 

 

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Top 5 Moments Worth The Jail Time

1- Making a U-turn to avoid driving 982348723 miles until the next stoplight.

2- Illegally parking to run to the bank/post office/mailbox for .2 seconds.

3- Standing up for yourself when confronted by a bully. Go ‘head with your bad self.

4- Doing whatever necessary to make your obnoxious seat mate stop snoring. Hey, can I borrow that tissue paper pillow for a sec?

5- Any vehicular damage caused by someone trying to steal your parking spot. I plead not guilty.

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