Tag Archives: disney

Top 5 Things You Shouldn’t Forget To Do

1- Call your grandma (or grandpa). Whether you’re talking about daisies, upcoming travels, or some crazy relative…it’s good for the soul. Life is short and being able to hear your grandparent’s voice is precious. Also, remember to save their voicemails.

2- Sing happy birthday. While the obligatory text or Facebook post is nice, there is just something fantastic about hearing your goofy friend singing that age-old tune. For me, it’s probably a flashback to my BALLIN 101 Dalmatians party circa 1991…you shoulda been there.

3- Floss. Seriously. Don’t be a gross ass.

4- Keep the tank at least 1/4 full. Worst case scenario, there’s an emergency in the middle of the night and you have to stop for fuel. Less dangerous but still awful case scenario, it’s freaking freezing and you’re running late for work…and you have to stop for fuel. Woof.

5- Love on somebody. Whether it’s your spouse, puppy, niece, or great auntie…get some QT. Ridiculous bone-crushing hugs and smooches are what life’s all about…personally, I need about three hugs a day—so consider yourself warned.

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Top 5 Things That Are Worse Than Hell

1- Waiting in theme park lines. While similar to hell (same temperature/crowd), this little adventure is made worse by the fact that you are actually spending insane amounts of money to do.nothing for the majority of the day.

2- Editing your résumé. Holy sh&^ this is the worst. All you want to do is send them a secret text that says “what do you wannnnt from me?!”…and don’t even get me started on margins.

3- Suddenly and inexplicably finding yourself surrounded by Republicans. ***

4- Sleeping with someone who snores. You think to yourself, “I mean…would it REALLY be that bad to just put this pillow over their head? Would I just get a couple of years?…” Alas, these murderous urges are generally resisted…because after all, who would carry the luggage?

5- Watching a cinematic sex scene…while your parents are in the room. You don’t want to make it awkward…but you def don’t want to look too into it…WHO NEEDS ANYTHING FROM THE KITCHEN?!?!

***To be fair, I assume Republicans feel the same way when surrounded by us crazy liberals.

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