Tag Archives: commute

Top 5 Things You Don’t Want To See On A Saturday Afternoon

1) Stacked heels. While I love my Louboutins more than anyone, this just comes off a little garish. Save it for the evening, girlfriend. 

2) A line at your favorite bagel place. Ughhhhh, don’t they know that you’ve been looking forward to this egg and cheese treat all week?!

3) An email from work. I’m sorry, I can’t hear you over my complete indifference. ***

4) Inclement weather. Dear powers-that-be, save that mess for lazy Sundays.

5) The inside of a car for more than 45 minutes. However, if forced, this situation can be slightly improved with an icy beverage and Dolly Parton tunes.

***but I promise to care on Monday.

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Top 5 Commuters Who Should Just Disappear

1- The a-hole who sits spread eagle with his (already large) frame. Usually seen taking up 3/4 of the only available bench. Go you-know-what yourself dude.

2- The panicky rico suave who freaks if someone steps on his precious shoes. If they were that nice, you wouldn’t be on the train…mmmk?

3- Anyone who eats anything remotely resembling food. It’s like watching someone eat in the bathroom…Heebiejeebies.

4- The Metrocard fumbler…I don’t care if you have to duck under the turnstile, when that train is coming you better MOVE son!

5- The perv. There’s one on every train and it never gets less awkward or creepy. Blegh!

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Top 5 Things A Good New Yorker Will Never Do

1- Take too long in the bagel line. Not only will this get you cursed out before 8 am, it will also ruin your rep at the local coffee shop. Which, we all know, takes years to curate and seconds to dismantle.

2- Placidly take up multiple seats while hoards of people file into the subway car. Do this and you deserve to get jumped [quite possibly by me].

3- Walk in midtown with eyes gleefully aimed towards the sky. Yes, the buildings are big. Yes, it looks *just like* the movies. In other news, people actually have to get work…so speed it up, yo.

4- Fangirl/boy out at the sight of a celeb. Don’t get me wrong, we totally want to…but we have the dedication and wherewithal to save this nonsense for when we are alone/tweeting to all of our friends back home.

5- Act rude or haughty to a taxi driver. We all know they hold the real power.

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Top 5 Moments I’m A Cliché

1- When I see a grown man gently playing with a baby/toddler. Heart melted.

2- When I’m in NYC and the train is late. *@#^!@*!@*#&*@!@&(*!@#!@#!!!!

3- When I’m back home and drink my weight in sweet tea. Thanks, Granny!

4- When I have a few cocktails and decide to text message an ex-lovah. Boredom and booze do not mix, ya’ll!

5- When I have nothing to wear…in a closet that could have individual rooms for shoes, accessories, tops, dresses, costume apparel, you name it. Yet still, absolutely nothing to wear.

 

 

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