Tag Archives: college

Top 5 Reasons I’m Happy I’m Not 18 Again

1- No matter what happens, I will die knowing I didn’t screw up my education. Seriously, from birth this was my greatest fear!

2- I could not care less if anyone on the planet likes my outfit. I love different and interesting clothes…and am more than happy to let my freak flag fly!

3- I no longer have the “if it’s free I should eat it/drink it” mentality. Less is definitely more, people.

4- I have no fear of subways, bus schedules, european trains, and airports. At 18, navigating these hubs was nothing short of terrifying!

5- I can go into any bar, in any country, and order a glass of wine. My 18 year-old-self would be so jealous.

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Top 5 Photos You Should Be Embarrassed About

1- Almost any selfie. While they are oh-so-tempting to take, your reputation is begging you to refrain. You get a free pass for approx three a year. Use them wisely.

2- That one of you peeing outside after a night of college debauchery. Oh it doesn’t exist? I call BS.

3- Any maternity photo with a half-buttoned shirt, awkwardly large bow around the midsection (?) and strategically placed gendered baby shoes. I just don’t get it.

4- Any photo of you simultaneously in a wedding gown and holding a beer. I mean it’s supposed to be one of the most sacred days of your life…at least pour it in a glass for Christ’s sake (literally…ha).

5- Anything, and I mean anything, taken on your 21st birthday. Evidence of this day should be either 1) burned or 2) locked away in Harry Potter’s Chamber of Secrets.

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Top 5 Ways I Know I’m Not 22 Anymore

1- It’s Saturday night and I’m within 200 feet of a computer.

2- I refer to men I like/date by their actual name…ya know, instead of “quicksilver store guy,” “the scotsman,” or most embarrassingly, “ace with the tattoos.”

3- At this very moment, I have no inexplicable body injuries–no weird waffle shaped bruises, no twisted ankles…and no skinned knees, mom!

4- I spend more money on food than drinks. When did this start happening?!

5- I wake up before noon on weekends…EVEN WHEN I DON’T HAVE TO!!! Can’t say I ever saw this one coming, folks.

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