Tag Archives: college

Top 5 Reasons I Like 2014

1- I always do better in even-numbered years. While 21 was fun in ’07, I am quite certain it wasn’t my most productive year yet (unless you take into account my ability to keep a 3.0 whilst spending most of my days [booze] cruising the Charleston harbor :/ 🙂 ].

2- I have SEVERAL fun weddings to look forward to…which means reunions, champagne, and fabulous Instagram photos galore. #bringit

3- I know I will go to Europe at least once this year. Makes the whole newly-adopted 40 hours/week thing bearable.

4- I love my living situation. New York, you know I love ya…but damn it feels good to have a washer and dryer.

5- I still have two years before I need to have my sh*% completely together. 

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Top 5 Signs You’re Too Old For This Sh*&

1- One night out means at least two full days of recovery…which means you spend the rest of your weekend with Seamless and Netflix. So not a cute look, girlfriend.

2- You leave bars because they’re too loud and you can’t participate in meaningful conversation…because, ya know, that’s what everyone is looking for on a Saturday night.

3- The thought of taking a Fireball shot makes you want to hurl…EVEN if it’s completely free of charge.

4- You leave happy hour at a reasonable hour so you can take your dog out…and don’t harbor any resentment towards your furry friend.

5- When you see someone living out their rockstar fantasies, you secretly thank your lucky stars that it’s not you. Live and let live!

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Top 5 Things You Should Just Forget About

1- Getting a decent parking spot on any college campus. In related news, don’t even try to park illegally…fifty bucks says there is a parking services agent hiding in the bushes. 

2- Wearing your hair down in this heat. Don’t lie girl, you know that ‘do is gonna be in a topknot before you even make it to the subway.

3- Waking up early to work out on the weekend. I’ve told myself this was going to happen, oh, a few THOUSAND times in my life…and I’ve never done it once.

4- Acting funny, witty, smooth, or refined when needed. Sorry player, this is going to be the EXACT moment you knock over your glass and/or get a piece of basil stuck in your teeth.

5- Choosing the “right” line in security. It’s always a gamble…and I inevitably get stuck behind the newb who forgets to take out his laptop…way to hold up the entire.freaking.line. dude…

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Top 5 Signs You’re With An Old Friend

1- You don’t feel weird about borrowing their deodorant and/or hairbrush…and it doesn’t even cross your mind to ask first.

2- You reminisce about the hot guys in college…and wonder if they ever eventually started wearing shirts.

3- You don’t feel judged for sleeping until noon…or going to bed before midnight on a Saturday night.

4- You still hate the same people.

5-You remind each other of the total doofuses you’ve dated in the past…and thank your lucky stars that the best is yet to come!

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Top 5 Signs You Need To Get Out Of Town

1- You are up-to-date on all of the recent Netflix releases…and consider it quite the accomplishment.

2- You are still hanging out with your ex-boyfriend…and you can’t figure out if it’s because of boredom or genuine affection.

3- You consider housesitting a real adventure.

4- You can’t remember the last time you saw your college peeps…or reminisced about the time that one of you spray painted the house with her cat’s name.

5- You have worn out your welcome at the local Starbucks, Panera, and Au Bon Pain…and have started calling these places your “office.”

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Top 5 Reasons You Should Visit Your College Town

1- You can go to that same old dingy bar, with the same cheap drinks, and most likely, a few of the same bartenders. In this crazy world, it’s nice to see that some things never change.

2- You can show your boyfriend/spouse/kids the building where you never went to class.

3- You can go in the college bookstore…and for once have enough money to purchase t-shirts, mugs, planners, etc.

4- You can see what Pita Pit looks like BEFORE 2:00 am.

5- You can watch all the crazy undergrads…and thank heavens that you made it out alive.

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Top 5 Moments I Want To Relive

1- Getting my driver’s license. Oh the freedom! Oh the glory! Oh the possibilities! Almost too much for a well-intentioned 15-year-old to handle (yes I said 15…can you tell I’m from the South?!).

2- Traveling abroad alone for the first time. True, I was crying and terrified when I actually walked away from my family/thenboyfriend…but my how that moment changed me!

3- 8th Grade Awards Day. Boy, did I clean UP that spring afternoon. I had more awards/medals than General Petraeus…and without the awkward cheating scandal to boot!

4- My first cocktail party. It was love at first sight.

5- Watching my grandpa get his first dealership bought, no miles, brand spanking new pick-up. As much as the old codger wouldn’t admit it, the joy was written all over his face.

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Top 5 Moments Everyone Should Experience

1- Graduation day. Whether your school has cap and gowns, white summer dresses, or those happy wizard costumes worn by PhDs…enjoy it. Revel in it. Drown yourself in champagne…then wake up and get to work, son.

2- Morning bliss. That moment when you wake up before your someone, look at them as they sleep, and swear to yourself that you’ve never seen anything more beautiful.

3- Physical domination. You ran the ENTIRE 10k? You volunteered and roofed a freaking HOUSE? Whatever it is, everyone deserves an endorphin-filled/glorious moment of sweaty sovereignty.

4- Ego karma. You know the scene…you accidentally let your humility slide and say something that the real you would NEVER say. Then someone calls you on it—and you both know you deserve it. Consider it a lesson learned [and a free pass to check the next toolbag you encounter].

5- Kid giggles. Is there anything more fulfilling than making a wee one laugh uncontrollably? Nope! It’s instant therapy and you get to bust out your old cookie monster impression. Win-Win, I say.

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Top 5 Reasons Why 27 Is A Weird Age

1- Some of your friends are married with two kids and a mortgage…while others sleep on people’s couches and live off a diet of ramen and Jim Beam.

2- It seems like your peeps are either || to getting hitched or lightyears away from settling down. There is no in-between.

3- It’s when you really start to notice the whole aging thing. You say no to going out on weekdays because you really don’t have the desire…not solely because you’re trying to make a responsible decision.

4- You spend money on kitchen supplies. And know how to use them.

5- Your vacation requirements aren’t limited to hotties with bodies, free booze, and endless tanning options.

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Top 5 Things I Wish I Could Tell My Teenage Self

1- The braces are so unbelievably worth it. With that said, regardless of your school colors, avoid yellow rubber bands. Not a good look.

2- Leonardo DiCaprio isn’t worth the heartache. Save your angst for Justin Timberlake.

3- Your baby brother will be one of your favorite people on this planet. Stop locking him out of the room for Dawson’s Creek.

4- In your twenties, you couldn’t be PAID to date anyone you had a real-life crush on in high school.

5- College is so much better. Just hang on tight.

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