Tag Archives: cleaning

Top 5 F%$@)#G Annoying Things I Did Today

1- Tracked down my W-2s. While freelancing most definitely has its perks, it all comes to a screeching halt around tax time. Fourteen emails and nine W-2s later…yea, you get the picture.

2- Talked to my dental insurer on the phone. Really riveting stuff.

3- Wore fabulous, yet slightly uncomfortable, shoes. I fear this is a lesson I will never learn.

4- Burnt my lunch. Impressive, since the only cooking required was to place it in the oven.

5- Cleaned out my car…aka the place where water bottles and magazines go to die.

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Top 5 Signs You’ve Really Got It Together

1- You know the exact date of your automatic drafts…and plan accordingly.

2- You can’t remember the last time you sent an inappropriate or unsolicited text.

3- Clean sheets. Every Single Week.

4- You send out birthday cards (on time). 

5-  You manage to go to the gym AND make a home cooked meal ALL IN ONE DAY. BOOM.

 

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Top 5 Signs You Are Not Destined To Be Domestic

1- Your friends refuse to cook at your house because, without fail, you never have the basics to make a meal (flour, eggs, olive oil, etc).

2- The thought of making your own cleaning supplies makes you want to jump in front of a train.

3- You use your pantry as an extra shoe closet.

4- Your version of DIY is called Etsy. Delegation at its finest, folks.

5- You think that spending $600 on a pair of shoes makes total sense…but $300 on a mixer? What is it made out of…gold?!

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Top 5 Things That Always Throw Me Off

1- Not being able to pump your own gas in New Jersey…it just feels so retro.

2- Hearing “Chuck Bass” from Gossip Girl speak in a British accent…how can this be?!

3- People who thoroughly wash dishes before placing them in the dish washer…how am I supposed to know if they’re clean or dirty?!

4- Short action stars à la Tom Cruise, Mark Wahlberg, and Robert Downey, Jr…I guess the camera really does add 6 inches.

5- The fact that Gwen Stefani is three years younger than my mother…and six years older than Kate Winslet. Fairly certain Mrs. Rossdale has sold her soul to Satan.

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Top 5 Things That Should Be An Inalienable Right

1- Wi-fi. This can be a matter of life or death…for instance, what if I miss #tbt and have to wait ANOTHER week to post that super cute childhood photo of myself? What will people do?!

2- Gym memberships. Seriously, ya’ll. The world would be a happier, healthier, and more beautiful place…and that’s the hard-bodied truth.

3- Taxis after 11:00 pm. It’s a matter of public safety (and achy-yet stylish-Louboutin-clad feet).

4- Metrocards that NEVER expire. If this law were enacted, it would make spring cleaning SO much more exciting.

5- Marriage to any whiney, temperamental, and otherwise rotten person you choose…everyone deserves the equal right to make one another miserable.

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Top 5 Things I Learned From My Granny

1- Only buy/wear white if you have full intentions of caring for it properly.

2- If a gift is received, a thank you card is written [in a timely fashion]. No exceptions.

3- Never wear “yard clothes” to town. Being presentable is a sign of respect.

4- You can get almost any stain out with determination and brute strength. Don’t give up!

5- Petite women (i.e. all women in my family) should not wear “long, draggy” dresses or baggy clothes. Flaunt what you’ve got!

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Top 5 Things That Feel Oddly Indulgent

1- Napping in the afternoon on a beautiful, made-up bed…with lots of fancy pillows. It just makes me feel like a fatigued starlet in the 1940s…anyone else?

2- Taking a black car service to the airport. I mean, it may just look like your grandpa’s old Grand Marquis, but something about it can make you feel so luxe!

3- Buying pricey milk and/or paper products. Look who’s not in college anymore!

4- Wearing your boyfriend’s sweater to clean the house. Extra points if it’s cashmere.

5- Saying yes to dessert. At a restaurant. Calories be damned!

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