Tag Archives: cereal

Top 5 Random Confessions (Go Ahead And Judge)

1-  I don’t get the whole cereal addiction. There is absolutely no way HUMANLY POSSIBLE to get the cereal to milk ratio correct and frankly, it’s too loud in my ears.

2- Even though I typically order balsamic, I would rather be having ranch.

3- I was always confused by the whole “mirror, mirror on the wall” thing. Clearly the Queen is prettier than Snow White.

4- Quite often, I would rather be alone. I like to read, ponder, think, write, and wander…all things that are tricky to do in tandem.

5- I have an obsessive need to know how things are spelled. My brain processes thoughts in words, so if I don’t know how to spell something it’s like a jammed record player until the issue is resolved. Just ask my friends (especially the superfreak smart ones) how often I say “how do you spell that?”.

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Top 5 Signs You Should Chill The F Out

1- You choose cubed ice rather than crushed because it takes less time…even though you prefer crushed.

2- You have given up and replaced milk with coffee when having your morning cereal…because it just seems more efficient.

3- You put your emergency blinkers on and drive like a convict when traffic pisses you off…and have been known to pull this move en route to the grocery store.

4- You get violently angry when people attempt to read to you aloud. 

5- You feel the need to label where the forks, knives, and spoons go in the kitchen drawer…because, ya know, we couldn’t figure that one out ourselves.

 

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Top 5 Things I Just Can’t Accept

1- That my friends are actually starting to have children ON PURPOSE. When did this start happening?!?!

2- That in Manhattan it costs $23.00 for a mani/pedi and $8.00 for a box of cereal. Clearly, there is something wrong with this picture.

3- That white shoes are “in”—nope, nope, nope. I shall not agree to this nonsense.

4- That Gwyneth Paltrow is the “World’s Most Beautiful Woman”…sorry I’m not sorry, G-Pal. 

5- That all the good ones are taken. Surely there is a male version of myself out there…minus the clumsiness and inability to follow directions. ***must also carry luggage.

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Top 5 (Reasonably Harmless) Things That Make Me Want To Rage

1- Restaurants that do not offer wi-fi…I mean, wtf. It’s the 21st century. Join the real world people (I’m talking to you, Europe).

2- Commercials on Pandora. I get it—that’s how they pay their bills—but I’m in the middle of a workout and the only thing getting me through it is picturing Adam Levine singing only to me…shirtless.

3- When a screwdriver is needed to change a freaking battery. Might as well throw the offending item away.

4- When I’m forced (yet again) to buy another $10 Metrocard because I left my (fully paid) one at home. *#*&!@#*!@#&!@#&!@#*!!!

5- When I pour a perfectly delicious bowl of cereal…and realize there’s no milk. So, so sad.
 

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Top 5 Things That Stress Me Out

1- Identity Theft Commercials: One moment you’re happily enthralled in Rachel Zoe…then Bam! PanicMode.

2- Obtaining the perfect milk/cereal ratio: 26 years on this planet and it hasn’t happened yet.

3- Remembering to say “No Whip: I have a huge problem wasting calories on things I don’t even like to eat. Yuck.

4- Tardiness:  Cannot. Handle. It.

5- Health Insurance/Car Insurance/Home Insurance:  This guy understands.Image

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