Tag Archives: car

Top 5 F%$@)#G Annoying Things I Did Today

1- Tracked down my W-2s. While freelancing most definitely has its perks, it all comes to a screeching halt around tax time. Fourteen emails and nine W-2s later…yea, you get the picture.

2- Talked to my dental insurer on the phone. Really riveting stuff.

3- Wore fabulous, yet slightly uncomfortable, shoes. I fear this is a lesson I will never learn.

4- Burnt my lunch. Impressive, since the only cooking required was to place it in the oven.

5-¬†Cleaned out my car…aka the place where water bottles and magazines go to die.

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Top 5 Ways I Keep It Real

1- Handwritten notes. While it may be prehistoric, my love of stationary requires that I keep up this tradition. Don’t worry though, I still send the obligatory “Happy Birthday” post online.

2- Cowboy boots. No, not the silly little $30 ones from TJ Maxx. Real, live boots…worn with real, live jeans. The kind that have clocked the same amount of hours in the fields as they have on city streets.

3- The ‘Zuk. I’ve had the same car since my senior year of high school. She’s small, has great gas mileage, and above all, doesn’t require any car payments. We’ve been together for 10 years now and I love her dearly.

4- Music. My tastes have not drastically changed since 1996. My typical Pandora rotation goes a little something like this: Tom Petty, Travis Tritt, Rod Stewart, Prince, Billy Joel, Garth Brooks.

5- Public Transit. Nothing more real than that.

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Top 5 Lies I Tell Myself

1- Paying outrageous rent in Manhattan balances out because I don’t have a car.

2- Wavy/Frizzy hair is natural and beautiful…not just a sign of laziness.

3- I have the patience, time, and money for a dog in the near future.

4- Walking around in 6 inch heels counts as a leg workout.

5- Diet starts tomorrow.

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Top 5 Reasons Today Sucked

1- I wrecked a very expensive car. That’s not even mine. FML.

2- I left a gorgeous mansion on the beach to return to the rainy Northeast.

3- I flew into an airport with no real clue as to how I would get home.

4- I have a skinned knee that looks stupid with all of my outfits.

5- It’s summer and my skin is still nearly translucent.

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Top 5 Things I Think When It Rains

1- There is no way I should be expected to get out of bed in this weather. Followed by either 1) Thank God it’s the weekend and I don’t have to or 2) $!@&&%$#(@!#&+@(~#~&@!*!#*@!!!!

2- Well, ugly shoes it is…sorry outfit.

3- I can’t go to the gym in this weather! It’s water falling from the sky…what if I get hurt?!

4- Dammit, still need to replace those windshield wipers. Why does this only ever come to mind when it is actually raining and I can’t see anything?!

5- Good, we need that [said in my papa’s deep southern drawl]. You can take the girl outta the country…

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Top 5 Things That Blow My Mind

1- Compasses. Both because they have the capability to navigate ships across the seven seas and because there are people who actually know how to use them.

2- Fax machines. So retro, yet still mystifying.

3- Jon Hamm. Whatta man, whatta man, whatta man, whatta mighty good man… SALT N PEPA to the max.

4- Grown-ass adults who can’t parallel park. It’s a life skill, learn it.

5- People who work in bakeries and don’t weigh 500 lbs. I would never last.

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Top 5 Things Every Girl Should Keep In Her Car

1- Tweezers- You will never, and I mean ever, find better lighting for plucking your brows!

2- Floss/Toothbrush- Because, well, being “safe” can take on so many connotations…

3- Sassy Black Heels/Comfy Flats- You never know when life will throw you an impromptu night out…or a pair of painful new pumps. Be prepared!

4- A wall AND car charger for your phone- Sadly, in our new world, there is nothing more terrifying and unsettling than being disconnected from your 4G/5G/987G. Don’t get caught in the dead zone.

5- Real, live cash money- What?! That still exists you say? Alas my friend, it does. And as someone who has personally had to dig around in my floorboard (whilst holding up traffic) to pay a $1.50 toll, I can say that it is a glorious thing to have at your disposal.

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