Tag Archives: busy

Top 5 Signs You Should Chill The F Out

1- You choose cubed ice rather than crushed because it takes less time…even though you prefer crushed.

2- You have given up and replaced milk with coffee when having your morning cereal…because it just seems more efficient.

3- You put your emergency blinkers on and drive like a convict when traffic pisses you off…and have been known to pull this move en route to the grocery store.

4- You get violently angry when people attempt to read to you aloud. 

5- You feel the need to label where the forks, knives, and spoons go in the kitchen drawer…because, ya know, we couldn’t figure that one out ourselves.

 

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Top 5 Ways To Look Important

1- Carry a planner. Because, obviously, people with plans need a planner. So what if your “appointments” consist of trash pick-up schedules, your (twice-a-year) dental visits, and a wedding you have no intentions of actually attending? One day you might just have to pencil in that date with Ryan Gosling.

2- Wear shades like a boss. Seriously. If you don’t believe me, try it out in the mirror…something about occluding your eyes (**cough, under eye circles) makes you walk taller, speak stronger, and just…stride with confidence. Important people stride with confidence.

3- Keep your accessories sophisticated. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve worn a nice coat over a frumpy tee <bra optional>…paired with a stylish watch, sharp boots, new scarf, and…duh….shades. Even if you’re just running to the market, this look will carry you through the situation with class.

4- Resist the urge to immediately jump out of the way when someone is walking in your path. Important people don’t concede so easily, neither should you. Casually step to the side when you are fairly close to the intruding party, but never (ever!) apologize.

5- Don’t take private calls in public. Nothing kills a sophisticated look like a personal conversation. Uttering phrases like “he did WHAT?!” “Mom, for the last time, I don’t watch CSI…or NCIS…or whatever you’re talking about” or “I’m so upset that Channing Tatum is having a baby” make you less mysterious. Important people are mysterious.

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