Tag Archives: bikini

Top 5 Reasons May Is The Best Month Zeus Ever Created

1- April showers bring what you ask? MAY FLOWERS BIATCH!!! Everyone loves a good flower.

2- Memorial Weekend is the unofficial start of summer…and one of heaven’s greatest gifts: Summer Hours. For those of you who don’t live on the tiny universe of Manhattan, “Summer Hours” are NYC’s way of making up for crappy winter weather and the L train. We straight up get off of work early every.single.friday during this glorious season. Booyah.

3- It marks the birth of one of the nation’s greatest social commentators (me, obviously).

4- There are no puffer jackets in sight.

5- No matter what, you know that you have at least three solid months of good weather in your future (which means at least TWO months to get ready for bikini season…amirite?).

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Top 5 Reasons To Work Out

1- The gym is the only place your self-confidence rises as your appearance becomes more disgusting.

2- People-watching…which, obviously, is a non-pervy way to say that it is lecherous leering primetime. Keep on lifting fellas!

3- Working out is a respectable pastime. Watching trash television is not. They cancel each other, right? 

4- It makes bikini shopping easier…as in, you may not want to jump off a bridge afterwards. 

5- Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don’t shoot their husbands, they just don’t.
 ***if you don’t get the reference above, we cannot be friends.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , ,