Tag Archives: awkward

Top 5 Words You Never Want To Hear Your Mom Say

1- Sexy. Gross, gross, ga-rossss!! Full body cringe, indeed.

2- Insurance. A stressful conversation is bound to follow, no doubt.

3- Marriage. Let’s cross that bridge when we get there, mmk? 

4- Your *insert family member here. When they stop becoming hers and suddenly belong only to you, family drama is a’ brewing.

5- Excuse me?! Uh-oh…now you’ve done it. Best bet is to make yourself scarce.

 

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Top 5 Things That Unsettle Me

1- Foreign pronunciation. Do you pronounce the word correctly and risk sounding like a pompous prick? Or do you go with the general pronunciation and risk sounding like an uneducated plebe? I never know what to do!
(common offenders: Cap-ri or Cuhpri, Lou-vre or Louve, VUI-tton or Vatahn)

2- Oxford commas. So apparently, these are not necessary in our modern age…but I still heart them! I’ve tried to switch over but just can’t commit. I love that little guy.

3- Carry-on measurements. Does anyone’s bag actually fit in those little metal boxes? Doubtful. My advice is to walk past swiftly and determined…once you get past security you’re clear! They can make you gate-check but it won’t cost you anything, huzzah!

4- Tipping at semi-self-serve places. So I ordered, picked up my food, and fixed my own drink…but you cleared away the dishes. What is the appropriate protocol here?!

5- Asking for ranch dressing. God knows I love it…but no doubt the server is judging. Also, as sweet as it can be, the southern accent does nothing for the word “ranch.”

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Top 5 Things That Make Me Uncomfortable

1- Personal conversations on the subway. Call me crazy, but I don’t need 35 other people weighing in on my text convos from the night before.

2- People who do the same pose in every.single.photo. Clearly there’s more going on here.

3- Mega-Churches. The preachers are usually 40 yr old walking advertisements for Abercrombie & Fitch and the accompanying team mentality can be a little eerie. I can do without the horse and pony show.

4- The Fuzz. I don’t get it…I’m a speed limit obeying, law-abiding citizen…what’s up with the anxiety?! I can only assume this is residual fear from my college years.

5- White shoes. No me gusta.

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