Tag Archives: avoid

Top 5 Reasons To Avoid The Mall

1- Abercrombie and Fitch. The noise, the nauseating perfume, the crowd of tweens and/or toolbags…best if left to their own devices.

2- Parking is a pain in the ass. Without a doubt, someone will try to steal your spot, knock a door into your shiny new whip, or take forrreeevvverrr to get into their *&@*#&@ car.

3- Books-A-Million is a time vortex and will steal hours from your life…a fact you won’t realize until you’ve missed your dentist appointment, forgotten the kids at school, and forgone your dinner plans.

4- Chinese Food. That shiz is SO not organic…but you know you’ll order it. Who has the wherewithal to avoid those delicious little samples?! Not me, I say.

5- The lycra. It’s everywhere…on the bodies of fellow shoppers, for sale in the department stores, and cloaking the (generally uninterested) salespeople. Avoid, avoid, avoid.

 

 

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Top 5 Reasons I Hate Being Sick

1- Shocking as it may sound, I don’t like people assuming I have a narcotics problem…and my red/raw nose does not help this case.

2- I also don’t like for people to be scared of me…and, even though I can’t blame them, it always dings your pride a little when you see a stranger create as much distance between you and them as possible.  It’s just allergies, I swear!

3- I never purchase Kleenex and am thus forced to deplete my valuable paper resources.

4- Coughing is so gross. And it hurts. Make it go away, please?

5- It gives me an excuse to indulge in my already indulgent tendencies…sleep, television, and feel-good food. Ay Caramba.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,