Tag Archives: age

Top 5 Things You’re Never Too Old To Do

1- Run through the sprinkler. It really doesn’t get better than this…so throw caution (and your silk shirt) to the wind and partake in this time-honored summertime tradition. Extra points if you can toss a trampoline into the mix.

2- Order a kids meal. Whatever, the portions are better and they come in cute little boxes. Just make sure you don’t trash the toy…pay it forward by giving it to a kid on the street or donating to a local hospital/shelter.

3- Fight with your little brother. How long has he known you? Does he really think he’s going to get away with stealing your slice? Time to bust out the ‘ol Hogan moves.

4- Watch Boy Meets World. This show will never, and I repeat NEVER, get old. Here’s hoping the remake [and Topanga’s hair] can stand up to the legend.

5- Call your grandma when you’re sick. Not sure what it is, but my granny always seems to know the appropriate ratio of concern, humor, advice, and cornbread my illnesses deserve.

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Top 5 Things That Always Throw Me Off

1- Not being able to pump your own gas in New Jersey…it just feels so retro.

2- Hearing “Chuck Bass” from Gossip Girl speak in a British accent…how can this be?!

3- People who thoroughly wash dishes before placing them in the dish washer…how am I supposed to know if they’re clean or dirty?!

4- Short action stars¬†√† la Tom Cruise, Mark Wahlberg, and Robert Downey, Jr…I guess the camera really does add 6 inches.

5- The fact that Gwen Stefani is three years younger than my mother…and six years older than Kate Winslet. Fairly certain Mrs. Rossdale has sold her soul to Satan.

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Top 5 Ways I Know I’m Not 22 Anymore

1- It’s Saturday night and I’m within 200 feet of a computer.

2- I refer to men I like/date by their actual name…ya know, instead of “quicksilver store guy,” “the scotsman,” or most embarrassingly, “ace with the tattoos.”

3- At this very moment, I have no inexplicable body injuries–no weird waffle shaped bruises, no twisted ankles…and no skinned knees, mom!

4- I spend more money on food than drinks. When did this start happening?!

5- I wake up before noon on weekends…EVEN WHEN I DON’T HAVE TO!!! Can’t say I ever saw this one coming, folks.

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