Tag Archives: accents

Top 5 Things That Unsettle Me

1- Foreign pronunciation. Do you pronounce the word correctly and risk sounding like a pompous prick? Or do you go with the general pronunciation and risk sounding like an uneducated plebe? I never know what to do!
(common offenders: Cap-ri or Cuhpri, Lou-vre or Louve, VUI-tton or Vatahn)

2- Oxford commas. So apparently, these are not necessary in our modern age…but I still heart them! I’ve tried to switch over but just can’t commit. I love that little guy.

3- Carry-on measurements. Does anyone’s bag actually fit in those little metal boxes? Doubtful. My advice is to walk past swiftly and determined…once you get past security you’re clear! They can make you gate-check but it won’t cost you anything, huzzah!

4- Tipping at semi-self-serve places. So I ordered, picked up my food, and fixed my own drink…but you cleared away the dishes. What is the appropriate protocol here?!

5- Asking for ranch dressing. God knows I love it…but no doubt the server is judging. Also, as sweet as it can be, the southern accent does nothing for the word “ranch.”

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Top 5 Things I Love About Germany

(As I sit in Berlin)

1- Things happen on time. As a fiercely punctual person, this is music to my (always waiting) ears!

2- You roll up everywhere in a Benz….flyest taxis around, for sure.

3- Every male sounds like Hans and Franz…let the giggles ensue.***

4- You get to say “Guten Morgen!!” every.single.day—I don’t know about you, but I call that a win.

5- Everyone speaks English…because lawd knows I could never pronounce half of these words. Exactly how many letters can one add to a word before it becomes stream-of-consciousness mind ooze?

***Yes, I realize they were supposed to be Austrian…but the language is still German!

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