Tag Archives: abercrombie

Top 5 Reasons To Avoid The Mall

1- Abercrombie and Fitch. The noise, the nauseating perfume, the crowd of tweens and/or toolbags…best if left to their own devices.

2- Parking is a pain in the ass. Without a doubt, someone will try to steal your spot, knock a door into your shiny new whip, or take forrreeevvverrr to get into their *&@*#&@ car.

3- Books-A-Million is a time vortex and will steal hours from your life…a fact you won’t realize until you’ve missed your dentist appointment, forgotten the kids at school, and forgone your dinner plans.

4- Chinese Food. That shiz is SO not organic…but you know you’ll order it. Who has the wherewithal to avoid those delicious little samples?! Not me, I say.

5- The lycra. It’s everywhere…on the bodies of fellow shoppers, for sale in the department stores, and cloaking the (generally uninterested) salespeople. Avoid, avoid, avoid.

 

 

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Top 5 Things Adults Don’t Do

1- Go to Panama City, Myrtle Beach, or Daytona Beach for Spring Break. Let the kids have this one, ya’ll.

2- Proudly display Hollister, American Eagle, Abercrombie & Fitch, or Aeropostale across their chests. If you’re over 18, you look like an ass.

3- Take the cheesiest slice, the corner piece of cake, or the last cookie when there is a child who hopes and dreams you may kill with these simple actions.

4- Make negative comments about their job on social media sites…or talk about it too much in general. The only people who care are the ones that might fire you.

5- Sacrifice the well-being of pets, children, employment, and/or family for more sleep. Consider rest your evolutionary survival tax!

(Welcome back from break, everyone! xoxo)

 

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