Top 5 Things That Should Never Happen Before 10 a.m.

1- Soda. While my health choices are undoubtedly questionable at times, this is what even Robert Downey, Jr would call “rock bottom.”

2- A run-in with your ex. While horrifying enough when you’re glammed up and out with the gals, this is simply a social injustice on your morning commute.

3- Jagermeister. Do you have a death wish or something? Might as well brush your teeth with a bottle of Jack, Ke$ha.

4- Train delays. People have places to go and sh*& to do. Also, we would like to save our “the train took forever”s for more appropriate times…like when we oversleep after a night out (***with the Kardashians on an E marathon).

5- A flat tire or dead battery. Even AAA wants to tell you to you-know-what yourself at that hour.

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