Monthly Archives: April 2013

Top 5 Items Worth The Splurge

1- Pricey concealer. The drug store liquid stuff is absolutely worthless, while better brands can completely transform your face.

2- A beautiful winter coat. First of all, you wear one almost every day in the most loathsome of seasons…pick something that will cheer you up! In addition, people rarely see the outfit below.

3- Sneakers. Anything that will encourage you (i.e. me) to work out more is worth it…plus custom sneaks are better for your heels, arches, ankles, etc.

4- A nice watch. It just makes you feel fancy…and it gives a good impression at the office.

5- Luxe lingerie. The last place you want to look cheap is the bedroom.

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Top 5 Reasons I Should Maybe Settle Down

1- I’m sick of carrying my own f*&^i@g luggage.

2- I’m petite (i.e. short) and can never reach the top shelf of anything.

3- I figure two minds have a higher likelihood of remembering to put the trash out for pick-up.

4- My mother will kill me if I don’t pass her good looks on to future generations.

5- Jon Hamm isn’t getting any younger.

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Top 5 Things That Make Me Uncomfortable

1- Personal conversations on the subway. Call me crazy, but I don’t need 35 other people weighing in on my text convos from the night before.

2- People who do the same pose in every.single.photo. Clearly there’s more going on here.

3- Mega-Churches. The preachers are usually 40 yr old walking advertisements for Abercrombie & Fitch and the accompanying team mentality can be a little eerie. I can do without the horse and pony show.

4- The Fuzz. I don’t get it…I’m a speed limit obeying, law-abiding citizen…what’s up with the anxiety?! I can only assume this is residual fear from my college years.

5- White shoes. No me gusta.

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Top 5 Ways New York Tells You It Loves You

1- The subway arrives *just* as you reach the platform. And a stranger gives you their seat.

2- It’s Halloween night and you are actually able to hail a taxi home without any difficulty.

3- You live on the 7th floor of your building…and have an elevator. This my friends, is what you might call a “Christmas Miracle.”

4- Your deli man draws hearts, smileys, and I ❤ u on the wrapping of your morning bagel (true story).

5- It’s 4am/10am and delivery is still a very attainable option…with no questions and not a bit of judgment.

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Top 5 Things That Feel Oddly Indulgent

1- Napping in the afternoon on a beautiful, made-up bed…with lots of fancy pillows. It just makes me feel like a fatigued starlet in the 1940s…anyone else?

2- Taking a black car service to the airport. I mean, it may just look like your grandpa’s old Grand Marquis, but something about it can make you feel so luxe!

3- Buying pricey milk and/or paper products. Look who’s not in college anymore!

4- Wearing your boyfriend’s sweater to clean the house. Extra points if it’s cashmere.

5- Saying yes to dessert. At a restaurant. Calories be damned!

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Top 5 Reasons I Watch Bravo

1- It’s my one chance to feel like the snarky, sassy, and mouthy gay male I know I was supposed to be in real life.

2- I keep waiting for Rachel Zoe to dump her husband…okay, okay I know that’s mean. Maybe if he would just lose those cheeseball necklaces?

3- I love catching inside dirt on LeAnn Rimes from Brandi Glanville.

4- The clothes…I just can’t handle it.

5- Life isn’t all diamonds and rosé…but it should be!

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Top 5 Things From Which You Just Can’t Recover

1- Forgetting to wash the conditioner out of your hair. If you’re on a time crunch, put it in a bun and swear up and down you’re rocking the “Black Swan” look.

2- Talking smack about someone standing directly behind you. Check yourself before you wreck yourself!

3- Being a Chris Brown fan. If his physical assaultS aren’t bad enough, his Halloween costumes/tattoos/tweets/etc prove he is a horrible human being who does not deserve your money and/or support.

4- Getting embarrassingly intoxicated at a work function. Two drink max, people!

5- Being labeled a “Homewrecker.” Ask Angelina Jolie, it’s been eight years and people still hate her…and she’s a Goodwill Ambassador!! Be nice and wait your turn.

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Top 5 Things Every Girl Should Keep In Her Car

1- Tweezers- You will never, and I mean ever, find better lighting for plucking your brows!

2- Floss/Toothbrush- Because, well, being “safe” can take on so many connotations…

3- Sassy Black Heels/Comfy Flats- You never know when life will throw you an impromptu night out…or a pair of painful new pumps. Be prepared!

4- A wall AND car charger for your phone- Sadly, in our new world, there is nothing more terrifying and unsettling than being disconnected from your 4G/5G/987G. Don’t get caught in the dead zone.

5- Real, live cash money- What?! That still exists you say? Alas my friend, it does. And as someone who has personally had to dig around in my floorboard (whilst holding up traffic) to pay a $1.50 toll, I can say that it is a glorious thing to have at your disposal.

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Top 5 Reasons I Watch Game of Thrones

1- I can’t stop hoping that Khal Drogo (and his shirtless bod) will come back to life.

2- I’m still trying to decide if I want to BE Daenerys or if I want to date her.

3- I keep hoping Tyrion will give up this “devoted man” act and go back to being the scoundrel we all love to watch.

4- Jon. Freaking. Snow.—I die, I just die. Does he KNOW how beautiful our children would be?!?!

5- I’m a perv—as shown by reasons 1- 4.

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Top 5 Reasons I’m Happy I’m Not 18 Again

1- No matter what happens, I will die knowing I didn’t screw up my education. Seriously, from birth this was my greatest fear!

2- I could not care less if anyone on the planet likes my outfit. I love different and interesting clothes…and am more than happy to let my freak flag fly!

3- I no longer have the “if it’s free I should eat it/drink it” mentality. Less is definitely more, people.

4- I have no fear of subways, bus schedules, european trains, and airports. At 18, navigating these hubs was nothing short of terrifying!

5- I can go into any bar, in any country, and order a glass of wine. My 18 year-old-self would be so jealous.

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