Top 5 Reasons I Should Maybe Settle Down

1- I’m sick of carrying my own f*&^i@g luggage.

2- I’m petite (i.e. short) and can never reach the top shelf of anything.

3- I figure two minds have a higher likelihood of remembering to put the trash out for pick-up.

4- My mother will kill me if I don’t pass her good looks on to future generations.

5- Jon Hamm isn’t getting any younger.

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