1- The gym is the only place your self-confidence rises as your appearance becomes more disgusting.
2- People-watching…which, obviously, is a non-pervy way to say that it is lecherous leering primetime. Keep on lifting fellas!
3- Working out is a respectable pastime. Watching trash television is not. They cancel each other, right?
4- It makes bikini shopping easier…as in, you may not want to jump off a bridge afterwards.
5- Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don’t shoot their husbands, they just don’t.
***if you don’t get the reference above, we cannot be friends.